Amber has been nagging me lately saying I need to spend less time with my headphones in and more time in the "real world." I know she's right, I've been using music to block things out ever since Austin died. It was something I knew would be there for me, I guess. There's always a song for my mood. Even before that, I've always struggled to just sit with things. I like to stay busy. If I'm not putting in max effort all the time then I'm not good enough. On the one hand it can be really good; in fact putting on music and dancing has been a surprisingly good alternative to self harm. But I've also noticed that when I'm listening for multiple hours at a time, that much stimulation all the time is really not good for my anxiety, especially first thing in the morning. So I just need to be more careful about what and when and how long. And maybe put a screen time limit on Spotify....
