It's Valentine's Day. Eleanor is sick. Again. Which is fine, it's whatever. It's not their fault. It's just a stupid holiday, I don't care.
Michaela's journal III
Table of contents-
initial thoughts
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what the fuck
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ten months
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how could you
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what i didn't say about that night
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two places
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issues
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switched roles
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song
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my therapist should get a raise
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undo
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i can't help it
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maybe i should just move to florida
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stick together
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sad
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my fault
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you drew stars around my scars
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flaws
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word vomit
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and i'm dying to know if it's killing you like it's killing me
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distraction
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seriously
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sorry
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labels
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what i like and stuff
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a word about my dad (several actually)
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i love you, i'm sorry
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things are good but
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makeup
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insane
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and the thing is
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it never stops
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awkward
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fuckkk
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"is that ok"
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it'll all work out
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wdyci
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thoughts
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...or do you just not want to?
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sometimes i forget how much anger i have in me
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be so fucking for real for a minute
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i do trust you
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oops
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what is wrong with you
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it's a date
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of course he knows
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"not all men"
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ugh i hate when adults are right
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"but everyone feels that way"
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a pathological people-pleaser
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i don't know what else to do
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i don't understand
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thank gods i'm gay
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and you said that i'm just like dad
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christmas
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merry christmas!
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i want to be me, is that not allowed
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i just want you to want me as much as i want you
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the last 24 hours have felt like a month
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complicated
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happy new year
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fuck this
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please. i've been on my knees
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i'm a very simple woman actually
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please don't hate me for being a hormonal teenager
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is it insensitive for me to say...?
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...
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good thing we didn't end up getting a fish
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the intrusive thoughts won
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dream girl
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episode
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crush?
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why
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breathe
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spiral
-
?
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i'm trying
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the worst part
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there's a reason I'm not a daughter of athena
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"i'm used to it"
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stop.
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what you're thinking
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"ok"
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what i didn't say
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how are people so normal about this stuff?
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splitting
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a few things i like about myself (i know shocking)
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idm
-
.
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quiet
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what's the point
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OD
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what i like about myself pt. 2
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obsessed
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anxious
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who would you be if there was nobody watching?
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i don't know what's wrong with me
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would my suffering be special then?
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ESOEMOEHOED
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maybe different ain't a bad thing to be
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i don't understand
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update
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the archer
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therapy
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valentine's day
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block me out
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in my head
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midnight
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meds
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:/
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fp
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intrusive thoughts
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eleanor say you love me like you did before
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i'm not ready to go
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sigh
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reasons not to kill myself (ongoing list)
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grudge
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anniversary
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why do good people suffer?
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asher?
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pissed
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the ugly truth
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another word vomit
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signals
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mean things i wanted to say but didn't
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+
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if this was a movie
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bittersweet
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man i hate taking accountability
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AITA
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on purpose
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it's hard
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