The thing about intrusive thoughts is, the more you try not to think about them the more you will. And even when I try to push the thought out, the scene continues to play out so vividly, my worst fear. Amber told me that I need to remember my intrusive thoughts aren't me and I know she's right. Those thoughts aren't me. That's not me. I'm not him. But I don't know if other people would understand it. I think if I told anyone the kinds of thoughts I've had I'd be locked up.
