If this is me on meds then I don't want to know what it'd be like if I stopped taking them
When I first started taking them my dad had a very serious conversation with me about how if I abused them in any way I wouldn't be allowed to take them anymore and the withdrawal is kind of worse than death
So I'm writing instead.
I'm feeling disappointed but like I'm not really allowed to feel that way because it's not Eleanor's fault
And lonely because Eleanor's mostly been resting and has barely talked to me and Will is with Connor which of course is fine and I want him to be happy and I don't want to bother him
And I'm really mad at myself for feeling any of that in the first place
I just want something to make my brain shut the fuck up for 5 minutes.
