Vodka Kisses

0513- How the 'A' Stole Christmas

The cabin is obviously stunning.

We got in late last night so I haven't really had the chance to explore and to really see how beautiful it is.

When I go downstairs dad is doing some weird stretch on a yoga mat.

"What are you doing?" I ask with a raised eyebrow.

"Yoga." He says as he goes into downward dog.

Um...

I try to hold back a laugh, he looks ridiculous.

"Your mom thinks I should try it to help become more mindful and to deal with grief." He admits.

"She really thought everything out, huh?" I head over to the kitchen to grab something for breakfast.

We got some snacks on the way last night but haven't been shopping properly yet.

"She was the one who found the cabin." He admits.

What the hell?

He stands up from his yoga and goes over to a file.

"This is for you." He hands me an envelope.

For Grace when you get to Canada

"I'll give you some time to read it. I need to get washed and dressed and unpack before we head into town to do some shopping." He ruffles my hair before heading upstairs to his bedroom.

Thankfully we stopped and got coffee last night.

I make a hot coffee and then grab a blanket off of the back of the sofa before heading outside to sit on the snowy porch.

The view is incredible. We're literally in the middle of nowhere. There's no one around us right now, perfect for dealing with the biggest loss of both of our lives.

I take a sip of my coffee before opening my envelope and pulling out the letter, the letter my mom wrote me.

My baby girl,

Oh would you look at that, I'm already crying.

Im so sorry I have to go so early. 17 years is not nearly enough time, I hope one day you get more time with your own daughter.

I hope you're not blaming yourself, please don't. This is nothing to do with you but my body. You were so selfless and did such an incredibly beautiful thing, I will always be so grateful for the extra time you gave us.

I love Rosewood and I loved raising you there, but I'll be glad to see that you're out of that town for a little while you grieve. Grieving is so normal and I hope you do grieve, but not too long. You have such a long and beautiful life ahead of you and I don't want this to affect you too hard.

I will be with you wherever you go.What your dad said at my funeral is true. My love will never leave.

There are so many things coming up now, prom, graduation, college and I want you to experience all of it.

DO NOT let your dad pressure you into college and what you want to do there. I've told him to go easy on you, I want you to do what you want.

Also, go to Steph for your prom dress, she has a bunch of ideas.

There's so much I wish I could say to you right now, to make this easier for you. I know how much you're hurting, I do. Please don't push away those around you, you have a habit of doing it.

Your dad is going to need you a lot more than he lets on, so don't argue with him, be patient.

Don't push Logan away either, he's a sweet boy and he loves you very much. For that boy, you are it, I see it in his eyes every time he looks at you. Don't ruin this with him because of your grief, you're allowed to be upset, but hurting him won't make you feel better.