January 13, 2017
We had burned through South America the later half of 2016 then went home to spend the holidays with our families. I showered the girls with gifts. My babies...
We land at Tampa International Airport and I am equal parts elated and sick with nerves. I'm so happy to be home but I'm nervous to play in front of all my friends and family tomorrow night. I begged our tour manager to put Tampa first on the American tour schedule that way it wouldn't be so goddamned hot. I won the battle this time. The Foos hadn't played here since 2008 so I felt they owed it to us. We got in our limo and drove across the bridge to St. Petersburg- my home and the only real place worth staying. We were staying at the Vinoy and had planned a real big party later this evening. I had family and friends coming in from all over and I was so happy to finally see their faces. It would be quite the homecoming. The limo pulled up to the Vinoy and we all got out.
"Why would you leave here?!" Nate exclaimed staring out toward the marina. "This place is beautiful!" The Vinoy was actually blocks from my old office and apartment. I smiled.
"These two assholes begged me to!" I joked pointing at Taylor and Dave. They both shook their heads.
"She wanted it! I swear!" Taylor called out grabbing his backpack out of the trunk. I laughed.
"That's what all men say..." I joke. "I'm calling mom and telling her we're here now. I think my friends have already checked in if my Facebook feed is being honest with me..." I say as I group text my best friends, Karen and her girlfriend, Elena, Lee and Gia letting them know we have arrived. I then call my mom.
"Babe! Is that really you?!" She screams and tears well up in my eyes.
"Yes, mama! Get your ass down here!" I yell at her and laugh. I am very close with my mom. I've always been her best friend.
"I'm on my way and I have Anna, Brian and Stephen with me!" She says quickly and hangs up. I throw my phone in my purse.
"She's got my sister her family with her too." I say to Dave then take his hand.
"Awesome! I can't wait to meet everyone!" He says cheerfully as we walk into the lobby.
***
Several hours later we were all poolside greeting our guests 3 by 3. Everyone I cared about was there including our entire road crew. My dearest friends and closest family were already falling in love with Dave and the boys. It was magical. Karen and Dave were so alike it was darling. I always said I was her Taylor. The guys had already exchanged phone numbers with all of my friends. I loved it. Dave and my closest cousin, Tommy, were fast becoming inseparable. I almost would have been jealous if it didn't make me so fucking happy. We had one of my sister's old friends, Jimmy, come in and host karaoke. We were all drunk and taking turns butchering songs. I was on the platform with Karen screaming out the Beastie's "Fight For Your Right" when I saw him. William... The man I had an affair with for 4 1/2 years. That was long history but we still remained friends. I jumped off the stage and handed the mic to my sister.
"Take over for me!" I yell to her and sprint over to him. He's talking with my ex-boss, Peter.
"You came!" I yell out and wrap my arms around him...
"Who the fuck's that?" Taylor says looking over Lee and Gia's heads. They both turn and stare then quickly turn back to Taylor taking a huge gulp from their wine glasses. Gia's face turns dark.
"Has she ever told you about a certain, forbidden past "relationship" she once had?" She cautiously questions. Taylor breathes in and out hard.
"Yeah..." He nods.
"Well... That's him. That's Will." She says and takes another drink.
"Fuuuuck..." Taylor draws out eyes suddenly searching for Dave. "He's not gonna like that." He says fear growing inside.
"He has some fucking nerve." Lee growls staring at us talking.
"Oh shit..." Taylor says watching Dave approach us.
"Hey babe! Don't mean to interrupt but it's our turn next!" Dave says with a smile then suddenly stops to acknowledge the man I'm with. He puts out his hand to Will.
"Sorry. Hi! I'm Dave!" Will takes his hand nodding.
"Yes! It's an honor to meet you! I'm Will!" He says cheerfully. Dave's face drops. He looks at me confused and disgusted. He sharply turns back to Will.
"Oh... I know who you fucking are now..." He growls body posture that of someone ready to fight. I grab Dave's shoulder. Will looks shocked. He was old money preppy and was not accustomed to that way of speaking. He found it rude and vulgar. That's why I always swore in front of him.
"Dave! I in-VITED him. You apologize!" I whisper yell at him. His eyes narrow at me and he shakes his head slowly.
"Fuck you and get FUCK out of my party!" Dave yells arm pointing out. I push him.
"This is my party too, goddamit! Will? Stay here. Dave? A word..." I growl grabbing his arm tightly and pulling him inside the hotel. I find a quiet conference room, push him inside and slam the door behind us. He turns to look at me. We both look like we're about to throw down.
"How could you embarrass me like that! And in front of everyone!" I yell.
"I embarrassed you?! How bout me?! You fucking invited your ex-LOVER to a party hosted by your BOYFRIEND!" He shouts in my face.
"He's my fucking friend! I've known him for 16 fucking years! Our past is our past!" I cry. He frowns, shaking his head.
"He leaves or I do." He growls, jaw clinched.
I stare him down.
"You'll be missed." I hiss and quickly turn to leave the room. I slam the door and can hear Dave destroying the conference table. Ours now...
I return to the scene and sit down in a huff between Karen and Gia. Karen, Elena, Gia, her husband, Preston, and Lee are sitting at a large patio table with Taylor, Nate and Chris. They all stare at me.
"Where's Dave?" Taylor asks concerned.
"He's in there buying a new used conference table..." I say in a low mean tone. I grab a bottle of wine that's sitting half empty on the table and take a long swig.
"Mine now..." I growl. All of the faces are mad. I can tell...
"What if that were you!" Lee hisses at me. The boys are in shock and keep quiet.
"What?!" I call out. Gia starts.
"If the shoe was on the other foot you know you'd be furious. Abby you're one of the most jealous people I know..." Gia exclaims. I perk up. They're right...
"I would never react like he did..." I start.
"No, you would have cut her down so severely that she would never come back up again. You are the most severe bitch that I know. It's almost poetic when you let loose!" Karen exclaims. My head gets heavy. Dave...
"I have to go!" I exclaim and bolt up out of my chair. I run toward the door of our hotel room then compose myself. I swipe the key card...
"Hello!" I here him call out.
"It's me..." I say quietly. I would have to grovel. I hate groveling. I walk in and sit at the end of the bed. Without prompting my head falls into my hands.
"I'm so sorry... Oh god, I'm so sorry..." I sob into my hands. I can't stop crying. He crawls up to me and wraps himself around me.
"Oh my angel... It's OK... It's fine. I forgive you..." He whispers in my ear.
"Happy birthday..." I say noticing the clock. 12:01. He smiles.
"Thank you..." He whispers and cuddles me up to him.
***
I wake up the next day tired and hungover. I unravel myself from Dave and stumble toward a water bottle. I down it then walk to the phone. I ask for coffee and toast. Nothing more. I put on a robe. Dave's still deep in slumber. Room service comes and I tip generously. I sip my coffee and Dave comes to slowly. I startle and throw my phone down.
" Happy birthday, my angel..." I say then crawl on top of him. He grins.
"Coffeeeee..." He whispers. I pour him a cup and hand it to him. I stop then rummage through my bag and hand him a small package.
"Happiest birthday, my love." I whisper. He looks at me and similes. " I didn't know what to get for the man who could have anything." I say . He smiles at me and tears off the paper. He stares at it long and hard then stares up at me. It is a framed picture of Dave and I in 1996. I 19 and him 27. We're both babies grinning big and clutching each other tight. The other frame right below it is a current picture of us now clutching each other in the same way. He looks up to me, tears running down his face.
"We met each other before... Why didn't you tell me..." He fights to get out. I wrap my arms around him.
"It didn't matter." I whisper.
"It does to me." He sobbed and buried his face in my neck.
"You're my everything." I sob...
