I'll Save You - Spirk

Chapter Thirty One

A/N
Zachary Quinto's awesome performance in Snowden has inspired me <3

*Jim's POV*

By the end of the day the entire academy had been searched and everybody was accounted for.

Everybody was accounted for, but not everybody was found alive.

Despite the death and destruction, Starfleet is still as organised as ever. Repairs have already begun and a meeting has been called for tomorrow to discuss the attack and deaths with the cadets.

In other words, some important person, probably either an Admiral or an Ambassador, will stand in front of everyone and tell us that they have everything under control.

Basically, they are going to bullshit it.

I mean, I get it - they want us to stay calm, but nobody's going to believe that they are not terrified of what might come.

They are calling official meetings, ships are being called back so the captains can offer their opinions, even a bunch of Ambassadors are coming to show their support.

"Jim?" Bones shook my shoulder to get my attention and I looked up to meet his concerned eyes.

"Yeah?" I frowned, noticing for the first time people leaving and new people entering the med bay, which was thankfully still completely intact.

"Shift change, we're meeting the others in the library." he reminded me and I nodded distractedly as we left the room together.

We reached our destination and squeezed our way through the loud crowd of people to get to our friends.

I've never seen so many people in this place at once, and no one was even trying to control the noise.

We sat with the others in the far left corner, I looked around but Spock was no where to be seen.

It's been hours since I last saw him, I hope he's okay.

My concern grew and I tuned the other's conversation out as they began discussing the attack, concentrating instead on figuring out where Spock would be so I could go find him.

My worry was unnecessary, before I had any solid ideas of where to look Spock entered the library, his eyes roaming the space intently.

I waved at him and he slowly made his way over to us.

He slid down the wall that I was sitting against, closer then we would have sat before we got together but the only one who seemed to notice was Bones, who didn't comment.

Scotty paused his rant about the attacker messing with our equipment and they briefly greeted Spock before continuing.

Something was off about Spock, he was too slouched, but not in a relaxed way.

He looked afraid, and nervous.

He looked up to meet my eyes and seemed to hear my unasked question, Are you okay?

He started to nod reassuringly, but then changed his mind. His face fell and he shook his head once.

I tuned the others out again and focused all my attention on the slightly trembling Vulcan next to me.

I took his hand gently and he hung on to it like it was the only thing anchoring him here.

Normally Spock had shields up every time we touched, blocking his telepathic ability - but this time was different.

His emotions hit me like a ton of bricks, out of control and raging - fear, pain, confusion, worry, guilt.

I resisted the urge to pull away - to escape these overpowering feelings. Instead I tried to push reassurance and love over to him.

Spocks emotions lost some of their intensity and he relaxed, but only a little bit.

Thank you.

I jumped slightly, Spock's voice hadn't come from next to me, it was in my mind.

I decided against asking him what's wrong, he'll tell me when he's ready.

What do you need? I thought instead, aiming the message at the connection between our minds.

You. I need to feel you with me, to know you're still here. Even his thoughts were tinged with fear, and this one was filled with the usual amount of doubt he had around me.

Like I could ever refuse him.

People died Jim, You could have been one of them.

Is that what he was so terrified of? that I would die?

Without another thought for the others - who had stopped talking to watch our silent exchange - I wrapped my arms around his waist and snuggled up to his side.

He put one arm around my shoulders and started stroking my hair gently with the other.

"Wait, I think I'm missing something here, are you two, like, together?" Sulu asked and Bones rolled his eyes.

"Of course they're together. How could you not notice?" Bones sniped, sounding smug that he knew and they didn't.

"I just didn't know it was official yet" Sulu shrugged and the others made noises of agreement.

I ignored their little argument and looked up at Spock, his deep brown eyes gazed back at me - he looked almost..... Lost.

Any better? I thought to him and he shifted slightly. A bit, thank you He replied, drawing me a little closer while glancing around the room nervously.

I followed his gaze, no one seemed to have really noticed - everyone was comforting each other - but I know on Vulcan this kind of public display of affection would be completely disgraceful.

Do you want to go back to your room? I suggested gently and he looked relieved.

That would be preferable.

We stood and I muttered an excuse to our friends as we walked off, I could feel their eyes on my back but didn't look back.

Spock needs me now, and he's my priority.