I'll Save You - Spirk

Chapter Forty Three

A/N
SCHOOL IS FINALLY OUT! Hehehe so I'm on holidays now, ehehehe more time for Spirk <3

*Jim's POV*

The survival strategies exam passed much like the first - it was a blur.

Spock's desk was directly across the room from mine, which was unfortunate because sometimes I would find myself spacing out and staring at him instead of doing my exam.

He was in full Vulcan mode, his head bowed over his paper and his lips in a tight line as he concentrated.

He only paused occasionally, and that was when his human half would shine through. He would bite his lip in thought and tap his fingers against his leg absently.

Overall, watching him do his work was much more interesting than actually doing my own.

When a professor called for us to stop I still hadn't finished, and I quickly scribbled down the rest of the answer I was writing, conscious of Spock (who had finished at least 15 minutes earlier) watching me.

I grinned and sent him a thumbs up, to which he raised his eyebrows and shook his head. I could practically feel his amusement from across the room.

"How did you go?" I asked him with a grin when I finally managed to make my way through the crowds to him.

"Adequately, you did not finish on time?" He asked in concern and I shrugged.

"I got enough done. It'll be fine" I reassured him and he raised an eyebrow, unconvinced.

His eyes traveled over my shoulder and he stiffened slightly. I swung around to see what had caught his attention, but saw nothing except a couple of laughing guys.

"What's wrong?" I asked, looking back at him in confusion. He shook his head slightly. "Nothing is wrong," he replied.

I sighed. "I think I know why Vulcans don't lie - you're terrible at it. What's wrong?"

He shook his head again, looking back at me. "It is not important. Please let it go." His hand came up in an instinctive motion to rub the fading bruise on his jaw and I instantly understood.

"Spock." I looked him dead in the eyes and he flinched slightly at the anger in my face, although not enough that anyone watching us would be able to tell.

"Are those the assholes that hurt you?"

The way he dropped his eyes told me everything I needed to know and I swung around to glare at them, taking a few steps in their direction.

"Jim, no" I turned back to Spock, who was looking at me pleadingly. "Please, don't go after them - just let it go. It doesn't matter"

The last part made my heart feel like it was being torn apart. He didn't say something along the lines of they're not worth it, he said it didn't matter.

As if he wasn't important enough, like what they did was okay and they could go unpunished. It's assholes like these that make him so insecure, that make him feel like he has less worth then everyone else.

The sadness at what people have done to Spock gave way to anger. I'll show them what happens if anyone hurts my Vulcan

"Spock. Go home, I won't be long" I told him firmly, pushing aside the guilt at the fear and anxiety in his eyes.

I'll make it better later, right now I have something to do. "Jim, don't do this" Spock tried again but my mind was made up.

I didn't move or say anything and after a few seconds he ducked his head and walked off. I tried to ignore my heart screaming at me when I saw his shaking hands, but it just fuelled my anger, at them, at myself.

The anger was clouding my mind and Spock's fear didn't register as it should have, only the anger, the need to hurt and the need to punish were clear.

As soon as he was out of sight I began stalking in the direction that the two boys had disappeared. I don't doubt that I will be able to find them.

Sure enough I found them only a few minutes later with a third guy, who was standing with his head bowed as they laughed at him.

They stopped when they saw me and smirked at each other, a cruel glint in their eyes.

"Go" I ordered the third guy, who sent me a grateful look and scrambled off.

"Well, well, well. Jim Kirk, the guy fucking the half-breed filth." They laughed and I lost any self control that I had left.

The one that just insulted Spock in front of me didn't see my fist coming and doubled over in pain when it connected with his stomach.

Despite their tough talk they didn't last long, beating them up was almost too easy, and I still felt frustrated that I hadn't been around to protect Spock as they limped away like the cowards they are.

Spock.

The image of the fear in his eyes and his shaking hands flashed in front of my eyes and I sank to my knees, feeling sick.

I caused that, he was probably sitting at home hurting, all because I couldn't control my anger.

I was just as bad as them.

He begged me not to do this, and I ignored him. I dismissed him like he was nothing, I ordered him to go home.

Why didn't I listen to him? Why am I sitting here with bloody knuckles when I should be with him? When I should be comforting him, showing him how much I love him?

Stupid, stupid.

I stood up and began the walk home as quickly as possible, just praying that I haven't caused a problem that I cannot fix.