I'll Save You - Spirk

Chapter Sixty One

*Spock's POV*

I hurried away from my T'hy'la with no particular destination in mind, just away.

The night felt colder than it did before, and my limbs felt heavy and useless.

My entire soul was screaming at me to turn around, to go back and tell Jim everything was okay.

Except everything was not okay.

He lied to me, he promised that he wouldn't message them. T'hy'la were supposed to always be honest, they were supposed to trust each other.

Was that the problem? Did Jim not trust me? Or worse, was he drawn to the one who was obsessed with him?

I was pulled out of my thoughts by raised voices coming from an open door ahead.

I slowed down and moved to a position where I could better hear the loud conversation.

The male sounded as though he was in distress, therefore I was logically concerned.

The female sounded angry, and as I watched she walked out the open door. The man came up behind her and my concern mounted as he grabbed her wrist.

I took a step forward, prepared to intervene, however the girl simply shook him off.

"No! I'm sick of your excuses! I told you, we're through!"

"Wait, don't go! We can work this out!"

I stepped back again when I realised it was just an arguing couple. I should have left then, given them some privacy.

However I found myself continuing to listen to them, my heart aching as I thought of the argument with Jim I just left.

"I'm serious, don't ever speak to me again. I hate you!"

With that the girl turned and left, leaving her partner standing in the doorway.

I felt sorry for him despite myself as he sank to the ground and buried his face in his hands.

I finally made my feet move and walked away from the scene.

I found a quiet spot and sat down, drawing my knees up to my chest. Was Jim experiencing a similar pain to that man? Had I hurt him when I walked away? Had I really made him feel as though I was leaving him, for good?

I should go back, we could resolve the problem and my T'hy'la would not be in pain any longer. I would not be in pain any longer.

Suddenly remembering something I reached down my shirt and pulled the little heart Jim gave me out.

I ran my fingers over the smooth surface and breathed deeply, remembering the nervous smile he had when he gave it to me, the joy that lit up his face when I said I loved it.

I stood swiftly, this is ridiculous. Illogical. We must discuss and solve our problems, not avoid them.

I hurried home and flung the door open violently, startling Jim, who had been pacing.

"Spock....." He began, his voice thick with desperation.

I did not wait for him to finish, instead I crossed the room and swept him into a tight hug.

"I am sorry, I overreacted," I muttered into his hair as he clung to me. "No, I'm sorry I lied. I was just trying to protect you."

"I know, Ashaya," I replied and held him closer.

"I'm sorry I'm being so emotional at the moment too," he added and I pulled away slightly to assess his expression.

He looked truly worried so I gave him a reassuring kiss and took his hand.

"T'hy'la...... you know that does not bother me. I love every aspect of you completely. You do not need to worry."

"I know," Jim muttered back, wincing as his communicator chimed again.

I couldn't quite repress the twitch of annoyance, they had no right to message my T'hy'la.

Jim's eyes met mine anxiously and I squeezed his hand. "It is not my decision. If you wish to talk to them that is up to you - all I ask is that you keep me informed."

I know him won't tell them anything important, and I also know he'll probably do what he wants anyway.

"I don't really want to. They didn't say anything important and I was just getting frustrated. I will see what they've said though."

I nodded and he retrieved his communicator, sitting down on the bed and patting the space next to him invitingly.

I took the offered seat and held my breath slightly as he opened the messages.

Jim?

Jim, love, did you get my message?

Jim please, don't ignore me!

I'm sorry, I thought you wanted him dead.

Jim please, I really do love you - more than anything. Please believe me.

I didn't mean to scare you.

Pleasepleaseplease talk to me!

Jim switched the communicator off suddenly, ignoring the rest of the messages.

"God, I'm such an idiot. Oh god I've just made it worse, I'm so sorry Spock."

He curled up against me and I held him again, shushing him gently. "It is okay, Ashayam. Everything is going to be okay. I have you, and I promise I won't let you go."

Jim calmed down after a few minutes and turned his communicator on again. "I just have one more thing to say to them."

If you really love me, let me go.
~Jim

I kissed the top of his head and he lay his head on my shoulder, only moving slightly to view the almost immediate response.

I'm sorry. I can't do that.