I'll Save You - Spirk

Chapter Forty Two

*Jim's POV*

"Jim....Jim...Jim, you need to wake up Ashayam"

I tilted my head back to look up at Spock, who was gazing down at me tenderly.

"We have our exam in an hour" he told me softly and I sat up quickly.

"Shit shit shit" I scrambled for some clothes and looked up to see with little surprise that Spock was already dressed. It was early afternoon after all.

"How long have you been awake?" I asked him over my shoulder as I started getting changed, not really caring that he was watching.

His face coloured and he turned away. "A few hours, I was studying - I left you sleeping because you were exhausted and needed the sleep."

"Alright I'm decent - and thanks. I just hope it's not too hard"

"It won't be, I am confident that you shall do well" Spock reassured me and I grinned. "Thanks, how confident are you feeling?"

He shrugged. "I believe I shall pass." I let out a bark of laugher. "Pass? Spock you're top of the class! You'll ace it"

Spock look unsure. "If you think so" he muttered, turning away to do some thing on his PADD while I got ready.

I quickly cleaned my teeth and ran a hand through my hair to make it sit right.

"Hey Spock" I walked up to him and brushed his arm to let him know that I was ready.

He put his PADD down and raised an eyebrow at me. "Is something wrong?" He lowered his mental shields so that I could feel his confusion, and I realised he had felt the sudden pang of sadness that came over me.

"Yeah - no nothing's wrong" I assured him, shrugging the strange feeling off without giving it much thought. "What is it?" Spock insisted, touching my wrist lightly.

I gazed at his face intently, taking in his brown eyes that are almost always sad, his expressive eyebrows that are currently furrowed in concern, and his downturned mouth.

I opened my mouth again to tell him that it was nothing, just a bit of human emotion - but that's not what came out.

"Are you happy?" Came out instead, making Spock's frown deepen. "I do not understand" he told me, letting go of my wrist and stepping back to look at me properly.

"I mean - I don't know" I sighed and ran a hand through my hair, probably completely messing it up. "I understand that you're a Vulcan and the whole no showing emotion and everything - I really do and I wouldn't change you for the world - but sometimes I can't tell if you are actually happy. So are you? Happy I mean. Or at least not sad?"

Spock's face softened. "I am happy being involved with you Jim, if that is what you are asking. You do make me happy - happier then I have ever been in my life. I apologise if I have led you to believe otherwise."

I shook my head. "No, you haven't. I just wonder sometimes. And then I wonder if there is something more I should be doing, to make you happier" I admitted.

"There is nothing you could do that would make me happier then I am currently." He reassured me, and then frowned.

"This may appear to be a stupid question..... But how would I convey my happiness if I was human?"

I shook my head violently. "No, I don't want you to think you have to change or anything. I was just making sure."

Spock ignored me. "Humans smile, that shows happiness, correct?" He asked and I sighed, shrugging my shoulders. "I guess".

Spock considered for a minute before his mouth twisted into a wide grin, except it looked more like a grimace.

I couldn't help myself, I just burst out laughing. Spock's face returned to normal and he frowned. "What?"

"Oh Spock, that looked so forced" I got out and his confusion grew. "You do it naturally?" He asked incredulously.

"Yes, and so do you sometimes. I don't know if you always notice, but occasionally you do smile. It's usually small, but it's there."

I kept laughing at his expression and his face softened even more, the corners of his mouth lifting ever so slightly into one of those small smiles that I loved so much.

"There, that's more natural" I whispered, touching his cheek lovingly.

His smile grew a little. "It is a strangely pleasing action. If it pleases you too then I shall attempt it more often - when we are in private of course."

"Only if you want to" I reminded him. and he nodded impatiently. "We are going to be late for our exam." He informed me and I kissed him quickly.

"Okay, let's go." I opened the door for him and he nodded in thanks as we left the dorm area and headed towards one of the exam rooms.

A/N
Ugh, sorry for the filler chapter.