I'll Save You - Spirk

Chapter Seventy Six

*Jim's POV*

"What do you mean he's not here? I thought he was too sick to leave?" I asked anxiously, unable to believe they had released him from medbay so quickly.

Bones sighed, "he's still confined to his room, and he'll be a lot more comfortable there. You could always go see that he's okay for yourself."

I ran a hand through my hair, trying to quell the wave of despair that washed over me.

"I really don't think that's a good idea," I muttered and he huffed. "Doesn't matter whether you think it's a good idea or not, I forgot to send his meds with him and I don't have time to do it myself."

I took a step back, panicking. "Can't someone else do it?"

Bones shook his head lowering his voice. "Some people here aren't that reliable, and he really needs those meds." He paused, then added "he'll be in a lot of pain without them," almost as an afterthought.

I winced, I really don't want to have to face him, but I can't leave him in pain.

"Fine," I snapped, taking the bottle of pills he handed me. "I really hope making me miserable makes you happy."

With that I turned at left, ignoring his shout of "nothing brings me more joy, idiot."

I walked to Spock's place, my heart thumping faster and harder the closer I got.

By the time I finally stood outside his door my hands were shaking and my heart was divided.

Part of me wanted to run as fast and as far as possible, whereas the other part of me wanted to burst into his room and beg him to take me back.

Unfortunately I can't do either, so after a few more minutes spent giving myself a silent pep talk I knocked firmly on his door.

"Come in,"

His voice was quiet and scratchy, but after being deprived of it for so long I couldn't imagine a more beautiful sound.

I only hesitated for another second before opening the door and stepping into the room.

Spock was lying on his bed when I entered, but as soon as he saw me he shot up, swaying slightly as he stood.

"Jim?" He asked hesitantly, taking a step forwards.

"Hey," I replied numbly, at loss for words. He somehow seemed even more beautiful than I remember. He had obviously been sleeping recently - his hair and clothing were dishevelled, but it only added to his beauty.

I held out the bottle for him to see, deciding I definitely needed to leave before I did anything stupid.

"Bones forgot to give you these, he said they'll help with the pain." I explained, looking away as I walked over and placed them on his desk.

"I'm sorry, I didn't mean to intrude," I said awkwardly as he continued to stare at me silently. "I'll leave now."

"Wait," he said sharply, going to take a step towards me but stumbling.

I automatically took a few steps forward and caught him, lowering him to the ground carefully.

"Shit Spock, are you okay?"