I'll Save You - Spirk

Chapter Forty Nine

A/N
Hey guys, I'm sorry it's been so long since the last update - I've absolutely hit a wall with this story. Hopefully the next chapter won't take as long.

Lt. Commander Gary Mitchell ^^^^

*Spock's POV*

Jim made sure that my injuries were clean and reapplied the cream to my bruises before we left the next day.

I found it quite embarrassing, having even just part of my body exposed like that.

Logically I am aware that my body is not exactly appealing, even without the scars. I do not particularly enjoy Jim seeing me without clothes to hide under.

However on the few occasions that Jim has seen me without a shirt, he looks at me as if he actually finds me physically attractive.

And although I do not enjoy the thought of being exposed like that, the memory of his gentle fingers against my bare skin made me shiver, and I couldn't help but wish he would do it more often.

However I do not know how to encourage him without giving him the wrong impression about what I am and am not ready for.

We parted ways not long after leaving our room. Jim went to meet with McCoy and I started moving towards the library, I was looking for an informative book to borrow now that exams are over and we have a brief break. I need something to distract me from my illogical pondering.

However I was stopped well before I reached my destination by the human from a few days ago, Kevin Riley.

"Hey, it's Spock right?"

I paused and turned to him, nodding warily. He grinned awkwardly and ran a hand through his hair.

"Look man, I just wanted to apologise for the other day - I really didn't mean anything by it, I really was just surprised. Being completely honest I didn't think Jim would ever be able to be in a relationship, not after Carol."

I opened my mouth to inform him that his apologies were unnecessary, however I paused as the last part sunk in.

"Carol? What does she have to do with it?" My voice came out sharper than Iintended it to, the memories of how she looked at Jim coming back to me.

"Oh, uh, I guess Jim didn't tell you then." Kevin laughed awkwardly again and scratched the back of his neck.

"What didn't Jim tell me?" I demanded, trying to keep my voice steady and calm.

"I'm sorry, I didn't realise that you didn't know. Well, uh, they used to date, and it didn't exactly end well. You should probably ask him though, it's not really my place to tell you."

Kevin's words drifted around in my head and I could feel my blood boiling with anger.

That, woman, touched what is mine. She had his affections, she had no right to go near him - He belonged to ME!

Logically I knew that I was being stupid, they were together before I knew him. This logic simply increased my anger, it did not matter when they were together, Jim has ALWAYS been mine, he is T'hy'la, he is mate-

My anger fled me and I received a similar sensation to being doused in icy water, despite remaining completely dry.

Jim is my T'hy'la, but he is not my bondmate, therefore I do not actually have any claim over him.

Anyone could claim him, and I would have no more right to him then they would.

Carol could claim him as hers, he was with her before, he could easily go back to her. The white hot anger returned, she could not claim him - it does not matter that we are not bonded, he is still mine.

"Spock? You okay man?"

I snapped out of it and glanced at Kevin, trying to dispel my thoughts. Besides, Kevin said things ended badly between them, therefore he is unlikely to go back to her.

"I am well. I shall discuss the matter further with Jim."

Kevin's eyes widened and he stepped back. "Nah man, look I shouldn't have said anything - they've been over for a long time now, don't let his past come between you. I've seen the way he looks at you. If it's any consolation, he never looked at her like that."

This cooled the anger slightly, however it did not change the fact that she had him, even if it was in the past.

Kevin shook his head and scratched the back of his neck again, taking a few steps away.

"Sorry man, I gotta go. Seriously, what you two have........ Be careful, you don't wanna lose that."

"I know," I muttered to myself as Kevin left. I did know, and I shall not let her come between us.

This determination grew as anger turned into dark, ugly jealousy. They were talking yesterday, alone. They both looked happy, and Carol looked at him with affection.

I will not let her take him from me, not my T'hy'la, my Jim.