Chat Logs | Sans x Reader

Chapter 39: Goodbye Skeleass

Out for some brotime. "So what do you wanna do today Pap?" I ask him while walking over the terrain. "WE STILL NEED TO PLAN THE SURPRISE PARTY FOR ALEX!" He shouts. Oh my god I'm sorry in advance. "YOU KNOW HER BEST, SO YOU HAVE TO HELP." Well I indeed know Alex the best. "Yeah sure."

Papyrus walks towards his and Mettaton's camper and opens the door. Coming to think of it, I have never been in their camper. I widen my eyes at the sight. To say the least, it looks Mettatonish. "Nice camper bro." I compliment him. "YOU HELPED ME PICK IT! ARE YOU ALL RIGHT SANS YOU ARE BEHAVING.. WEIRD." He says and looks at me. Oh god. "Nah I'm just a little tired." I say and go to sit on the pink couch. He comes to sit in front of me. "SO WHAT DOES ALEX LIKE?"

"Oh there are many things she likes." I simply say and cross my legs. "YEAH BUT WHAT KIND OF PARTIES DOES SHE LIKE?" Papyrus asks again and gets up to get something to drink. "DO YOU WANT SOME LIMONADE SANS?" I answer yes and get handed the glass of limonade. "For the party thing, let's do that.. tomorrow? Yeah, tomorrow is fine, I gotta go now actually." I say. Let's not spoil the party for myself. I'm a good person. "NO NO WE HAVE TO DO THIS. PROCRASTINATION IS THE THIEF OF TIME!" He says and grabs me by my shoulder and makes me sit on the couch again.

Well I tried. We plan a small party with friends and food. I still have to invite Jess. She can fly under the budget of Mettaton (thankfully). I take out Sans' phone and unlock it and press in the number I know by heart.

"Hello, this is Jess speaking." Jess'voice says. I could cry right now. "Heyy J-Slice. Wanna come to my- Alex' surprise party?" I ask. "Sans? Is this you? How is Alex?" Jess says again. "Alex is fine, don't worry. But wanna come? MTT will pay the flight." I offer. "Yes of course! When's the party?" She asks. Shit when is the party? "Hold on I'll ask." I say and look at Papyrus.

"Bro when is the party?" "NYEH! 24 NOVEMBER!" He answers. "It's on 24 november" I say to Jess. "Cool. I'll be there. Looking forward to it!" "Yay okay bye!" "Bye!"

"YOU ARE FREE TO GO NOW BROTHER!" Papyrus says. I give him a hug. "NYEH?" He says and pats my back. "You are a good brother." I say and let go. "WELL OF COURSE I AM!" Papyrus says, which makes me laugh. I leave and go inside my own camper again.

"I'm home!" I shout. Sans is still on the bed, now on his laptop. "you planned your own party?" Sans grins. "oh well I don't have to do it now." He laughs. "anyway, wanna go out? wait.. like to a café or something. I need better coffee than the shit we have here."

Like a date? I'm genuinely confused Sans what the fuck. "Yeah sure." I accept and grab my purse and stick it in the baseball pants. "I'll pay." Sans nods and grabs my hand.

The same feeling of falling again. Darkness.. and a voice. "Alexxxxxxxx...." it hisses. Much like Voldemort hisses the name 'Harry'. It gives me creeps. I open my eyes again and we are in a town I don't know. "Weird." I say. "you'll get used to the teleporting someday." Sans says and walks to a café with me. "No that's not it.. I heard a voice say my name while teleporting. Like, it hissed my name." I say. Sans stops and looks at me with widened eyes. He then walks on like nothing has happened. "You know about it?" I ask again.

"I'll tell you another time." Sans says and walks on. Well once he says that, he wont be letting loose any information I guess. We eventually find a café and enter. It smells like good coffee. We sit at the bar.

"What can I help you with?" A man, with a grey moustache says kindly. "two coffee's please." Sans orders and smiles at me. The bartender leaves and a man around the age of thirty comes to sit next Sans. "Wanna go home with me pretty lady?" He asks. Sans freezes in shock and turns to the man. "no thanks." He refuses. "Come on pretty lady, I can dive you crazy." The man says again and lays his arm around Sans.

"Hey fuck off she's my bo- girlfriend." I join in and remove the arm from Sans' body. "Jeez so she's a monster fucker. What a shame. I could do a better job." The man says and leaves.

Sans releases the breath he realizes he had been holding and drinks his coffee once it arrives. "thanks." He says and smiles at me. "No problemo." I smile back.

Then his smiling face changes into a mortified one. "Alex?" He whispers. I cock an eyebrow (sort of). "meet me in the bathroom." He says and practically sprints towards the bathroom. I smile at the bartender, who is looking weirdly at the sprinting girl. "Be right back." I say, stand up and walk slowly to the bathroom.

Then it hits me.

Oh no.

Oh fuck no.

I sprint to the bathroom as well. There's only one door, so I decide to knock. "Sans? You in there?" I ask. "y-yeah?" He says and unlocks the door. Then I see him sitting on the toilet, not daring to look down.

I was supposed to get my period today.

Oh no.

"uhm." Sans says as I stare at my bleeding body. "It's okay, these things happen. Don't be terrified. Can you still teleport?" I ask. He nods. "Just throw some toiletpaper in my undies for the time and let's get the fuck out of here quick." I panic.

The worst thing?

Sans just stares at me.

So I decide to do it myself.

I get on my knees and grab the toilet paper in a hurry. I roll a good amount off the thing and whipe sans's vagina. Okay yes that sounded weird. He looks startled at me, but I'm on a mission. Not getting myself embarassed in public. (again). Then I roll another good amount of the toilet roll and throw that in his underwear. "Will you be able to pull up your underwear or should I do that myself?" I say. So he stands up and pulls up the undies and his jeans.

Then we teleport home quickly. 

After we finish our coffee, we pay and teleport home. Alphys is standing in the room, searching for us. She tenses up once she sees us. "O-Oh good. I-I've g-g-got the antidote." She stutters. "It's basically the same principe as drinking the potion. J-just sit in front of each other and drink on one.

We sit on the couch and get handed the same antidote as which Alphys dropped two days ago. It's blue and smells like blueberry. "Well I'll count then." Alphys announces. "goodbye boobs." Sans says and smirks at you. If I had a tongue I'd stick it out.

"Three."

"Goodbye skeleass." I say and laugh.

"Two."

"Goodbye hair." Sans says and whipes a fake tear.

"One."