Socially Awkward.

Chapter 9

"Mom!"
"In the kitchen dear!" I walked into the kitchen and saw she was cooking breakfast.
"Mom, I really don't want to go to school today. I know it's only Tuesday but, my attack yesterday was an hour and a half long. Nothing was working. So can I please stay home?" She smiled sadly at me.
"Of course dear. You'll still have to take your brother to school though."
"That's fine, I can do that. I'm just tired of having attacks everyday." She nodded and gave me a hug, then turned back to cooking. I walked out of the kitchen and started up the stairs running into Mason.
"Listen, Em..." I stopped him.
"No, I don't want to hear it. I'm not going to school today so you don't have to worry about me being in your hair all day." I then walked passed him. I heard my brother and sister leave, then mom and dad.
"Emily! I know it's a late start but come on. I don't want to be late." I grabbed my keys and walked downstairs. We walked out the door and I drove Alic to school. I dropped him off and drove back home. When I got home I went down to the basement to my little dance studio area. I turned my dance songs onto shuffle and started dancing my heart out. About three hours later I was sweaty, sticky, and ready for a shower. I walked up to my room and closed the door. I pulled my clothes off and started the shower humming the tune for I Hate You, I love you by Gnash, ans at some point I started singing it.
"Feeling used
But I'm
Still missing you
And I can't
See the end of this
Just wanna feel your kiss
Against my lips
And now all this time
Is passing by
But I still can't seem to tell you why
It hurts me every time I see you
Realize how much I need you

I hate you, I love you,
I hate that I love you
Don't want to but I can't put nobody else above you
I hate you, I love you,
I hate that I want you
You want her, you need her
And I'll never be her

I miss you when I can't sleep
Or right after coffee
Or right when I can't eat
I miss you in my front seat
Still got sand in my sweaters
From nights we don't remember
Do you miss me like I miss you?
Fucked around and got attached to you
Friends can break your heart too,
And I'm always tired but never of you
If I pulled a you on you, you wouldn't like that shit
I put this reel out, but you wouldn't bite that shit
I type a text but then I never mind that shit
I got these feelings but you never mind that shit
Oh oh, keep it on the low
You're still in love with me but your friends don't know
If you wanted me you would just say so
And if I were you, I would never let me go

I don't mean no harm
I just miss you on my arm
Wedding bells were just alarms
Caution tape around my heart
You ever wonder what we could have been?
You said you wouldn't and you fucking did
Lie to me, lie with me, get your fucking fix
Now all my drinks and all my feelings are all fucking mixed
Always missing people that I shouldn't be missing
Sometimes you gotta burn some bridges just to create some distance
I know that I control my thoughts and I should stop reminiscing
But I learned from my dad that it's good to have feelings
When love and trust are gone
I guess this is moving on
Everyone I do right does me wrong
So every lonely night I sing this song

I hate you, I love you,
I hate that I love you
Don't want to but I can't put nobody else above you
I hate you, I love you,
I hate that I want you
You want her, you need her
And I'll never be her

All alone I watch you watch her
Like she's the only girl you've ever seen
You don't care you never did
You don't give a damn about me
Yeah all alone I watch you watch her
She is the only thing you ever see
How is it you never notice
That you are slowly killing me

I hate you, I love you,
I hate that I love you
Don't want to but I can't put nobody else above you
I hate you, I love you
I hate that I want you
You want her, you need her
And I'll never be her." I had washed my body by the time I was done singing the song. I sighed, got out of the shower, wrapped a towel around me and walked over to my closet pulling out my twenty one pilots tank top and my leather jacket. I threw them on my bed and walked to my dresser, pulling out a bra and pantie set and my music sheet leggings. Pulling all that plus some TOP canvas shoes on, I walked downstairs to the kitchen.

I checked the time and it was noon. I pulled out my phone and called Alic. He answered.
"What Emily?" I looked to make sure I called the right brother. I did.
"I was calling to see if you wanted me to bring you lunch."
"Why? I'm just a waste of money anyway."
"Alic Smith! You are not a waste of money! Why would you think that?"
"The people here at school called me a waste of space and money."
"Alic, listen to me. You are important to all of us here at home, and let's not forget how important you are to Jake. You were there for him when no one else was. So Alic Smith if I ever hear you talking like that ever again, so help me God I will hurt you."
"Yes ma'am. And yes I would like some lunch we just got out of second into lunch."
"OK I'll be there shortly with some Wendy's."
"OK. Can you get some for Jake to?" I chuckled.
"Sure." I then hung up, grabbing everything I needed and headed out the door to Wendy's. About 5 minutes later I was at Alic's school. I called him, and he answered.
"Hello?"
"I'm outside in my usual parking spot." I then hung up and leaned against my car Hood with the food sitting on top of it. I started scrolling trough Tumblr. I then heard my brother and Jake walk up to me.
"Well don't you look like a bad ass today?" I rolled my eyes at him.
"Yeah, sure. I hope what I got you guys is good. I moved aside and they gasped at what was in front of them. Two large Frosty's, two large drinks, then a bunch of different food.
"Hey school gets out in like 30 minutes if we get the OK from Jake's mom can you just check us out?"
"I don't see why not. Put the food in the car, then we'll go do that." They did as I said and I checked them both out. Jake's mom knows me apparently because she's my old dance teacher, so she easily accepted. I then drove the two home and they ate while playing video games, while I went to my room to sing a little bit.

A/N: I'm so sorry it took me so long to update! I have anxiety and depression myself, and it's been really bad lately. I try my hardest to give you guys the updates you want/ deserve. School is a terrible thing to a person who has anxiety, you feel like you're being judged everywhere you go and on everything you do. It just so happens that my anxiety spiked really bad these past few days. That's why I've been gone. Again I'm so sorry for not updating sooner. Thank you for reading still! XOXO ~Kaimee20