Socially Awkward.

Chapter 8

The weekend was amazing, it was filled with video games and Tumblr, oh and let's not forget Alic's crush Jake came over on Saturday. Now it's time to go back to school, which sucks. I really hate school. So now as I walk into school Monday morning with my Undertail shirt engaged, accompanied by my ripped black skinny jeans and my heelless high heels, I make my way to my first period of the day.

Heelless high heels, almost everyone says they're really heard to walk in. They're really not though, all you have to do is walk on your toes. It's simple really. I sat in my usual seat in the far back of the class and started doing the work that was on the bored. Half way through class I was done with my work so I had to just sat there. The teacher noticed I wasn't doing anything and started yelling.
"Emily! Why aren't you working!?"
"I-i'm fin-finished sir." I stuttered out quietly. I looked around the room to find my brother but he wasn't there, my rock, my security he wasn't here. Everyone was watching me. I could feel their judging eyes looking me up and down I grabbed my bag stuffed everything in it, got up and bolted out of the room as fast as I could in the heels that I was wearing. The beginning of the attack started, I had no one to go to. Just get to the bathroom. I thought to myself. As I ran down the hallway the attack grew stronger. I couldn't breathe, I was shacking to the point of no return, I was sweating, and the running wasn't helping me in anyway shape or form. I finally reached the bathroom, I closed and locked the door, sinking down onto the ground. I quickly pulled my shoes off and pulled my legs up to my chest, trying to calm myself. Focus on one sense at a time.
Hearing, a sink dripping. Smell, my perfume. Sight, the mirror. Touch, my pants. Taste, my gum. Color, the old yellow tile on the floor. Flavour, mint.
Breathe, Emily, breathe. Non of my tactics are working! I pulled out my phone, and called my brother. It rang and rang, but he never answered. I looked at the time, how the heck is it already second period? Alic has an early out, he's probably at lunch right now. I'll call him. My breath was still not coming back to me. I couldn't breath. Alic answered immediately.
"Em, what's wrong?" I tried to talk but it only came out as a wired noise, that I can't describe. "Emily, where's Mason."
"I-i-i d-ont know-w.." I said in barely a whisper.
"Em, where are you?"
"Bathroom." I stuttered out.
"What have you tried to calm yourself?"
"Everything."
"Shit. Emily, I'm calling mom you stay where you are. First how long since it started?" I looked at the clock.
"30 minutes."
"Ok I'll have mom come and get me so we can come get you, same bathroom as always?"
"Yes-s."
"Ok. Try to calm down the best you can." He then hung up. I kept repeating the tactics over and over again still wasn't working. Breathe, Emily. Please just let me breathe. I was a shaking and crying mess, and I couldn't do anything to stop it. End of second period, an hour and 30 minutes has passes since it started and nothing is calming me down. By phone rang, I answered it with out looking at who it was.
"M-mom?"
"No, this is Bryan. Where are you? Your brother and I have been looking for you since the beginning of 2nd."
"Bathroom." I coughed out.
"Which one?" He asked worried.
"Big gym." He then hung up. Within a few minutes there was a knock on the bathroom door. I unlocked it and scooted away from it. Bryan pushed open the door.
"I can't come in there, Emily." I slowly stood up, still trying to calm down. I walked over to him weakly. I was about to fall but he caught me. He pulled me into a tight hug.
"Emily, I'm here. It'll be OK. Take a deep breath." I started to match his breathing the best I could. "It's OK, I'm not going to hurt you. Deep calming breaths." His cologne filled my senses. A few more minutes later I was back to what my normal is. I sighed a breath of relief, still holding onto Bryan. "Better?"
"Yes, thank you." He pulled away and held me at arms length.
"Like I said, anytime." Then he was gone in a blink of an eye. My phone started ringing. I answered it.
"Hello?"
"Emily me and mom are here, please come to the office."
"OK, be there shortly." I grabbed my bag and shoes off the ground and walked up to the office. When I got there Alic ran and hugged me. I sighed at the familiarity. Although I don't think that familiarity would have calmed that attack down.
"Let's get you two home. Alic will you ride with your sister?" He nodded at my mom and she left, probably just to go back to work. Which reminds me when is the next time they go on a get away? I shrugged it off in my head, me and Alic walked to my car. We threw our stuff in the back and I started to drive.
"Since I ruined your lunch and I haven't eaten, do you wanna go get something to eat?" I said to him.
"Sure. What do you want?" I smiled.
"Well, I was thinking, we could go down to the junction and go to Five Guys or, we could drive all the way out to Riverdale and go to In And Out. It's up to you." He thought for a moment.
"Let's go to Five Guys." I nodded and pulled out of the school parking lot. We drove to downtown Ogden and I parked in front of Five Guys. We walked in and over to the counter.
"Hello, how may I help you?" Said the greasy guy at the register.
"Yes, hi. Can I get a Bacon Cheeseburger, with Mayo, tomatoes and lettuce, and a large fry." He nodded and looked at my brother.
"And for you sir?"
"Can I get the Little Bacon Cheeseburger, with Mayo and lettuce and a large fry." The dude nodded.
"Anything else?"
"Yes two drinks." He nodded.
"OK, that would be $25.30." I handed him a 20 and a 10, he gave me my change and our cups. We filled them up and waited for our food. When we got it we got in the car and drove to the North Ogden Divide, it's kinda like a mini canyon. When we got to our spot we got out and got on the hood of my car and started eating.
"Aren't you supposed to hang out with Jake again today?"
"Yeah, but he's gonna come to our house. I was wondering if we could go pick him up from school?'
"Yeah sure. What time?"
"Well it's only 11:30 and we get out at 12:30."
"Ok we'll go when we're done eating." He nodded.
"Hey, Emily?"
"Hmm?"
"When I hugged you at the school you smelled like a guys cologne. Why?" I choked on the fries I just stuffed in my mouth.
"Umm, you know that family that's been coming over alot?" He nodded. "Well, me and Bryan, the son, are kinda friends but not really. We don't know each other like friends do. He some how got my number and he found me today, he's helped me with three of my attacks. This one, the one mom started, and the one time where I was a little bit late picking you up from school."
"What? Really? I'm happy for you! You kinda have a friend. Yay!" I rolled my eyes at him. I looked at the time.
"We should probably go get your boyfriend from school." He blushed.
"He's not my boyfriend! We're just friends."
"For now anyway." His blushed deepened. We got in and drove to his school, and there he was leaning against the flag pole like he was the other day.
"Jake! Over here!" Jake looked up and saw my brother waving at him. He ran over to the car and got into the back. After he closed the door we were off. "How was the rest of school?"
"It was ok I guess, boring without you. All my friends left me, they were all Mormon. Some Mormons disagree with who I fall in love with." I looked at him through the review mirror.
"I'm sorry about that Jake, people are stupid." Do you know how hard it is to not stutter or have an attack talking to this person I barely even know? We'll if you don't, it's very hard.
"It's OK, if I'm being honest with you they were never really good friends. So it's fine that they left, if they hadn't left I wouldn't have met Alic here properly. I'm just glad that I'm not the only gay kid in the school." I chucked.
"Be glad you came out now, instead of in high school. One of the guys I sit next to in English just barely came out, he's so close to dropping out, there's also a lesbian on our football team. High school, yes people mature but not by much, especially the homophobic douchebags."
"Emily!"
"What?"
"You just swore!" I blushed.
"Yeah, I think that a Mr. Bryan Jones is rubbing off on me..." My blushed deepened. Why am I blushing? We pulled into the drive way. "You two have fun, I'll be in my room. Mom and dad won't be home til late so I'm cooking dinner. Mason should be home soon with Haylee." I then went up to my room and changed my clothes. I pulled on a pair of Victoria's Secret sweat pants along with a matching sports bra.
A/N: what she puts on right here is the main media.. I couldn't get it to load in the middle..
I grabbed my phone and started scrolling trough spotify to find a song I want to listen to. I grabbed my Bluetooth headsets and walked downstairs. I turned on Fools by Troye Sivan.

I started singing.
"I am tired of this place, I hope people change. I need time to replace what I gave away. And my hopes, they are high, I must keep them small. Though I try to resist I still want it all. I see swimming pools and living rooms and aeroplanes. I see a little house on the hill and children's names. I see quiet nights poured over ice and Tanqueray, But everything is shattering and it's my mistake. Only fools fall for you, only fools. Only fools do what I do, only fools fall. Only fools fall for you, only fools. Only fools do what I do, only fools fall. Oh, our lives don't collide, I'm aware of this, The differences and impulses and your obsession with The little things, you like stick, and I like aerosol I don't give a fuck, I'm not giving up, I still want it all." I was also cooking while singing, so when someone just comes out of no where and scares you, you scream.
"You have an amazing voice." I jumped and screamed, turning around I came face to face with Bryan.
"What are you doing here?"
"I invited him." My brother, Mason.
"And you Mister where were you when I needed you this morning? No thanks to you I had an attack that lasted an hour and a half! That was the longest one I've had since my attacks have started! I'm lucky that Bryan somehow got my number and found me! None of my tactics were working! I didn't know what to do. I called Alic during his lunch and he call mom away from work to come get my ass! And all of that happened because you weren't there! I know you're the top 'bad boy' of the school, and have a reputation to up hold but, the least you could do is show up to the classes mom worked so hard to put me so I would have less attacks. Do you think I want to live this way forever? I'm never going to get better. So why try? I don't want to quit school but now that's my only option. I JUST CAN'T DO THIS ANY MORE!!" I then fell to the ground crying. God I'm an emotional wreck. Alic and Jake came running into the kitchen, and Alic was by my side instantly. Mason and Bryan just stood there shocked. Alic hugged me for a moment while I calmed down. I then stood up and put the fakest smile on my face I could pull. "Now, all of you boys out of the kitchen. Dinner will be done in about 30 minutes." I shooed them all out of the kitchen and got back to work. 30 minutes later I called all of them in to eat.
"You guys eat all you want I already put mom and dad's aside. I'm not hungry, I'll be in my room if anyone needs me." I then head up to my room slamming the door closed behind me.

A/N: So this was supposed to be up yesterday but sadly my phone got turned off and I didn't have wifi where I was so, I hope you enjoyed it!!
XOXO ~Kaimee20