Confused Feelings (Camren)

{21}

After Camila had told Lauren they were going to Paris, Lauren couldn't be more excited throughout the week. Other then some flirting on Lauren side these past few days, things have been normal between them. Just maybe Lauren thought they would be more intimate like they where before Vero showed up in the picture but things were just the same as if they never broke up. Lauren couldn't help but feel disappointed about that. It wasn't how she expected them to be. To her knowledge Camila hasn't talked to her ex since the supposed 'break', but that didn't stop Vero from calling every chance since she got. She wasn't allowed on campus after her fight with Lauren or she would get in more trouble than she was before so she didn't even risk it.

It was Thursday and Lauren was at the mall with Ally shopping for some clothes for the trip. At this point all three of the girls knew Lauren's feelings for Camila and they supported it.

"I can't believe Camila is taking you to Paris." Ally said still surprised that her two friends will be traveling that far away.

"Trust me, I still think she might be pulling a prank on me." Lauren said with a laugh. As they walked around the dozen of stores.
"But seriously I'm really excited."

"So are you going to talk to her about your feelings." Ally asked.

"Um... not exactly I'm just going see where this goes between us."

Ally rolled her eyes at that response.

"Why do you have to make things  difficult. You do know it would just be easier for the both of you, if you told her how you felt, instead of going into this back and forth you have been doing for so long now." Ally told her frustrated that Lauren has to do the most.

"Ally it's just... complicated ok." Lauren says knowing her reasons as to why she doesn't just flat out say it to Camila about her actual thoughts about her.

She didn't want to get rejected. She would rather drag out the flirting instead of getting a actual response that could leave her heartbroken. It didn't make sense  to Ally but to Lauren it was enough.

"Just know she does love you."

"Yeah, of course I know in the friendship way, but I want more." Lauren said frustrated.

Maybe this trip could change things.

Paris wasn't just called the city of love for nothing. If they could be in the place that they both loved maybe something could happen.

"If it's meant to be then it'll happen." Ally spoke.

"I guess you're right." Lauren added, hoping that it will be.

After walking in silence ally's phone had ringed. Apparently she was called into work so she had to leave. Leaving Lauren alone.

Not wanting to go home just yet. She roamed around a little while longer to a part a the mall she had never been in.

Outside the Conner of her eye something silky short and black with lace had caught her attention. Should she or should she not what Lauren thought as she was contemplating wether or not to make that expensive purchase, that could come in handy during the trip. It was already getting dark outside so the mall was close to closing so she had to make a quick decision. On impulse she bought it. Might as well put it to good use  during the trip.  

-

On the drive home in Camila's car, because Lauren still hasn't gotten hers fixed and Camila let her barrow hers it in the mean time. Lauren was listening to music in the background with the windows and the nice cool fall weather made things more comfortable on the drive back home to Camila.

To her Camila.

Ok maybe that sounded to possessive Lauren thought. But she couldn't help it. She always thought on how it would actually feel to date her best friend. Seeing Camila throughout the years with different girls was painful. Lauren had to sit back and watch this girls get treated the way she wanted to be treated by Camila. Lauren viewed her as the perfect girlfriend.

Camila always got them flowers and chocolate. When they where in school Camila wasn't shy on showing affection, when it came to holding their hand or a kiss on the check. Could you look at someone you liked and see them do this things for other people. Lauren has been for years now. It was always a horrible feeling in her gut. But she covers it up with a smile or she excused herself and made up a excuse that she needed to get to class early.

She always craved to be in a relationship. More so with Camila.

Maybe this trip could give her a chance. Why else plus have Camila had came to her after Vero. That could be a sign that Camila might like her.

Lauren really hoped she was right.

She was afraid that being used or rejected by Camila could actually break her.