Confused Feelings (Camren)

{10}

Both girls sat in silence as they ate their ice cream. Considering the weather was getting colder, there weren't many people in the shop to begin with. Lauren looked out the window watching the wind blow off the dying leaves that we're turning golden brown. She loved fall, it was her favorite season. It was the time where she would wear her sweaters and drink hot chocolate, and the outside colors where beautiful, she was able to got out for walks and have the cool gentle breeze hit her skin. She loved everything about it.

"Again I'm sorry taking my anger out on you." Camila broke the silence. She looked down at her frozen treat ashamed to even look up at Lauren for her recent behavior. She knew the second the alcohol hit her throat that she would do something she would regret. She remembers the first time she ever consumed it in the first place. It was at a party and she hated it. But everyone else's was doing it and she couldn't help but follow in their steps. Then when she started to have a hard time she turned to it so she would hide her problems and forget about the situation at hand. When Lauren first saw her drunk and not the kinda drunk you see at parties, the kind where you slowly start to lose yourself and who you are, she grew worried about her.

"Camz it's fine, I just want you to talk with me if you think your going down that path again, I can't lose you." Lauren then reached across the table to put her hand on the younger girl.

"Thank you Lauren it means a lot, I promise I'll try." Camila told her as they looked in each other's eyes having a moment, but that moment didn't last long.

At that they heard the bell from the store ring as it was being open.

"Sorry it took some time to get here the traffic was terrible." Vero's voice came from behind them. She then made her way towards their table and kissed Camila's lips and sat next to her. She ignored Lauren's presence which was rude in Lauren's opinion.

"Hey Vero." Lauren says trying to be civil.

"Yeah... Hey." She said awkwardly then turned her attention back to Camila who was either pretending this wasn't awkward or wasn't paying attention at all. "Anyway Camila can you come back to my place to help me go through the packages my parent sent me."

"I can't, I have to take Lauren back to our place her car isn't working."
Camila said because it's true but also she didn't feel like spending hours at Vero's place going through her old things, she rather much spent her time at home in her comfortable clothes, eating pizza watching a movie and cuddling with Lauren... Wait what Camila then shook the thought from her head she has her girlfriend who she should spend her time with. "Actually Lauren you could take my car back home I'll ride with Vero." She then got up and gave Lauren her keys. Vero was right behind her happy that Camila was going back to her place. Lauren was sad though that Camila was ditching her once again for her girlfriend, but she couldn't say anything about it, well she could but she wouldn't. "See you later." Camila said as she took off with her hand intertwined with somebody that should of been Lauren. That's at least what Lauren was thinking.

-

Lauren stayed a little while longer at the ice cream shop having nothing to go home to. Then she received a call from Normani.

"Hey what's up." Lauren said.

"I was wondering if you and Camila wanted to tag along for movie." Normani spoke through the phone.

"I can't, I have to see where I could get my car fixed."

"What about Camila."

"She just left with Vero."

At that Normani scoffed at hearing the other girls name. The girls never liked Vero. She always pulled Camila away from her friends, and when they were hanging out she would always guilt Camila into buying her expensive stuff. It annoyed everyone but they never said anything for Camila's sake. They just wanted her to be happy and they thought Vero was the source to it, so they just put up with it.

"Can't believe they're still together."

Lauren let out a small laugh, glad to know she wasn't the only one who disliked the other girl.

"Not for long." Lauren mumbled under her breath forgetting she was on the phone.

"Wait! What? Are they fighting." Normani said excitedly.

"Uhhh.... I gotta go." Lauren quickly said as she hung up.
She should really stop saying things out loud. She then realized she said that out loud as someone walked past her looking at her like she was crazy. She then decided it was time to go.

-

That night Lauren was in the living room of the apartment on her laptop deciding to either fix her car or to get a new one. She didn't have much for a new one but if her car kept failing her than to repair it might cost more.
Then 20 minutes later she heard the front door open as she was about to order take out.

"Hey. Are you hungry I was about to order some food." When she got no response she looked over at Camila who was leaning against the door. She couldn't see her gaze because they were hidden behind sun glasses, which was weird because it was dark outside already, Lauren then got up as she realized Camila wasn't making a move to come in further inside. She then smelled something, the stench of alcohol was coming off her body. Before Lauren could say anything to her Camila almost collapsed on the floor.

But before she could Lauren got a hold on her and brought Camila to her room.

"Lauren... Is that you?" Camila slurred. Not realizing the older girl was upset with her.

Lauren layed her down on the bed. She looked at Camila really disappointed. Was their conversation that they had earlier meaningless to her. Right after they talked Camila did this. She knew Camila was going through something and she wanted to help but the girl wouldn't let her in. What if the drinking gets out of control and Camila makes it into a bigger problem that could affect her getting a job in the future.

After a few minutes Lauren then goes to Camila's dresser to get her a pair of fresh clothes. She took Camila's pants off and Lauren couldn't help but look at her legs. Camila was in shape there's no doubt in that, Lauren then proceeds to take take her shirt off, then when she got it off of her she sees Camila's open eyes looking at her. Smirking. Why was Camila smirking at Lauren what was she thinking.

"Hey." Camila slurred.

Lauren didn't respond as she rolled her eyes at her annoyed at the girls carefree behavior right now. She pulled on Camila's sweatpants on with no help from Camila at all, now she just lies there in sweats and her bra. Looking up at Lauren like she was the most beautiful thing she has ever seen. Lauren felt shy at this moment she didn't know why.

"Lie down with me." Camila requests. She then scooted over to give Lauren space.

"What." Lauren says as she tries to put Camila's shirt on her.

"No it's hot." Camila's told her as she refused to let Lauren put to put it on her.

Lauren then gaved up. She then wanted to make a move to the front door but she the felt a tug on her arm.

"Stay please." Camila says looking up at her scared with tears in her eyes. She didn't want to be left alone now.

"Ok." Lauren reassured her that she wasn't leaving.

Lauren then layed down next to her. They weren't touching and it was killing Camila. She needed to be close to someone. When she was at Vero's she wanted to tell her about how she felt and she was dealing with. But when she was on her phone the whole entire time Camila was trying to get her attention she just gave up and left to the nearest bar and walked home by herself.

Camila then moved closer to Lauren side and wrapped her arms around her waist Lauren didn't dismiss the contact if anything it made her feel better that Camila was with her right now. Lauren put her head against her chest and could her Camila's heartbeat. It was slow and steady right now and she was falling asleep when she heard Camila quietly speak. She probably thought Lauren was asleep now.

"I'm sorry I know that you might be mad at me tomorrow but I do want to talk about it. I don't know what I'll do without my mom by my side, and I know drinking won't solve anything it just dulls the pain." Camila whispered in Lauren's ear.

Lauren wanted to tell her that she we going to be by her side through all of this but she decided not to.

It would be better to show her.