It's Been A While (Yukio X Reader X Rin) [✓]

21. Yukio's Journal

RECAP:

"Well, I'm fine," He began to exit. "I'm going to take a shower. Rin will probably make breakfast when he wakes up."
And just like that, he left.
I was going to need a plan to find out what he was hiding.

_________________________________

I sat at the crappy table in the kitchen, and pondered about what I should do.
    I need to get something out of him... But how? It's not like I can just ask.
    But maybe... The journal...

My thoughts rudely were interrupted by Rin's yawning.
    He walked into the smaller, connected part of the kitchen where you cook things and started to make breakfast, looking exhausted.
    "Rin, you look like you just got hit by a bus." I flawed.
    "I know," He said, barely under a whisper.

A few seconds later, everyone else came waltzing in one by one and all sat down at the table.
    "Rin, do you need some help?" Shiemi asked with care. She, too, looked worried for Rin.
    "No... I'm good." He reassured, mixing the eggs slowly.
    "Dude, what happened?" Shima questioned, also noticing how terrible he looked.
    Rin sighed.
    "Well, every Sunday night, Yukio and I train in the woods. I don't know where he was, but I waited almost all night for him." I raised an eyebrow.
"He never showed up." He finished.
    That was it.
    I was done with him and his stupid, secretive business. His business was all of ours.
    "Dammit, Yukio..." I muttered as I pushed myself up from the table harshly. I glanced at Rin, who already had his eyes on me.
    "Excuse me from breakfast. I'll be back soon."
    I could feel everyone's utterly confused gaze burn a hole through the back of my head as I exited swiftly.
     I tripped over my feet a few times on my way to his bedroom, but eventually made it.
    I bolted over to his desk and searched thoroughly in all his desk drawers quickly and rapidly, rummaging for the book.

In only a few minutes, I turned the whole room upside down.
    "God, where the hell is that journal?!" I cursed in frustration.
    I scavenged through everything in that room, even in the pillows, but I found nothing.
    And then it hit me.
    He has to be at the academy right now—or at least on his way. Maybe I can beat him there. I know exactly where it is.

I quickly got dressed into an outfit—mind you, finding that journal was more important—and headed down the stairs swiftly.
    Before I could put my hand on the door handle, somebody stopped me.
    "Y/N." Rin suddenly said, leaning against the wall. "I need to talk–"
    I turned around to see him, but realized that I didn't have time for him and his innocent apologies.
    "Rin, I really can't right now," I waved as I quickly opened the door and ran out.
    I sprinted as fast as I could to the academy, and didn't stopped even if I was hurting.

Once I got to the academy, I headed for Yukio's classroom.
    Run. Run and keep running. You need to find it.
    I slammed open his door to find the classroom—luckily—empty and quiet.
I went to Yukio's desk and rummaged through the drawers.
    I opened the bottom one and found it; the journal.
    I immediately felt guilt rush through my body as I picked it up, feeling that I shouldn't have been doing it—but I needed to.
    The bright sun from the sunset shined on the black cover, making it warm in my hands.
    I really can't be doing this... But I need to find out what is going on with him.
    I opened to the latest written page, and what I read...
    Was unforgivable.
    Menacing, even.

July, 20XX
I feel incredible guilty. I've done something utterly horrible.
    A few hours ago,Y/N and I were at the bridge. Mephisto had talked to me prior about a few things.
    I told her that I couldn't fall in love, but she said that I could. That—I didn't have to listen to Mephisto. I wanted to believe her—and I was immensely convinced. But she hadn't said any more, for she'd fainted under someone's name.   
    Duke Eligos—a demon from the Four Sins. He appeared out of nowhere, from what I assume in order of my father.
    He told me that he was the one who made her faint. He did it so that he could talk to me alone.
    He told me that if I didn't join The Four Sins, he would do something to Y/N. I didn't know what to do. I was hesitant at first, but I couldn't let Y/N get hurt. Let alone, any one of my students and my brother. So I took the deal.
    And, now I'm here, in my room, with
Y/N sleeping in my bed next the desk I'm sat at. The only fact I couldn't swallow was that, even if I hadn't taken the deal, she wouldn't gotten hurt.
    I've been stuck. I don't know if I'm doing good... Or I'm some kind of vigilante.

— Fin.

Tears threatened to leave my glassy eyes.
    So many thoughts crossed my mind, and everything made sense. His attitude, his actions...

All of a sudden, I heard the classroom door open.
    "Y/N..." A Voice said, whom I'd turned around and found it to be him.
    He knew what I was doing, and out of shock, he dropped everything he had in his hand.
    "No, no, no, no..." He muttered, running over to me and watching the sudden tears stream down my cheeks, cupping my face as he took the journal from me and placed it down somewhere else.
    "Y/N, it's not–"
    "It..." I began, pushing him away. "It all makes sense now. All of it. You... Your attitude..." His eyes widened as he tried to take my hand for reassurance, but I wasn't having it.
    "Don't touch me!" I retorted, pulling my arms to my chest.
    His expression was completely unreadable, yet so blunt.
    The shame, the surprise, the utter shock.
    "How... How could you do that?!" I roared, whisking my hand through the air. "To me? To yourself?!"
    He kneeled down in front of me and said, holding my hands softly, "Y/N... I... I didn't want you to get hurt. I have to protect you, and–"
    "I can handle myself! I don't need someone to take care of me!" I snapped, taking my hands away from his grip.
    "But you–"
    "This isn't about me! This is about you! You can't do this to yourself. Please, put the deal off! I can't—I don't want to see you become a heartless demon like them!" I begged, putting my face in my hands—the tears staining my skin.
    He didn't bother to touch me again.
    "It was better me than you. I couldn't let them hurt you and the others."
    "No it's not! Don't pretend like you aren't important, because you are!" I cried, staring again, "Shura... She was right. You need to stop thinking about yourself and realize what's really important, or somebody's going to get hurt." I gripped the hem of my shirt.
"But... It seems ut's already to late for that." I mumbled, looking down at the ground.
    He couldn't even comprehend the things I knew.
    "You... You heard all of that?"
    "Enough to know that she was right." I replied quickly.
    He hesitated. I stayed silent.
    Though, the thought of him getting hurt for an unexpected cause got to me good.
    My chin quivered, and I tried to hold in tears, but it was too late. I'd already become a mess.
    Yukio's sad eyes landed upon my figure.
    "Y/N..." He mumbled softly, pulling me into a heated embrace, trying to calm me down. It only made it worse.
    I cried into his shoulder, and he held me tighter. He shushed me and shushed me, until my cries turned into sniffles, and my sniffles turned into silence.   
    Worrying thoughts scrambled through my head all at once.
   
I knew now that there was a difference between helping somebody for their safe benefit, and being selfish.
    Yukio was nowhere in between.
    Instead, he lacked consideration for others in being a kind of vigilante that both breaks a humane way of life.
    He had no idea how it would effect others rather than himself.