After Andy (#6 in the 'Outcast' Series)

Chapter 23

Chapter 23:

-7 Years Prior-

Andy's Point of View:

I sat down at my desk, looking at my computer as I tried to decide whether this was a smart idea or not. It was a new idea, I'd give myself that; no-one else would ever see this, as I was planning on making sure the folder with them in it was locked and no-one could access it.

I nodded to myself; I was going to do this.

I moved, switching my webcam on and sitting back, making sure it was recording before I said anything. Where did I even begin?

"Alright, so," I began, looking down briefly before making myself look back up. "Um, this' more just for my own personal records; I don't plan on showing any of this to anyone and I'm gonna make sure it's locked on my computer and you'll need the password to open the folder; dunno what the password is gonna be just yet, but I'll write it down somewhere so I don't forget."

I paused, looking down again; why was I doing this?

"I've decided to do a more...visual diary I guess you'd call it," I continued, forcing myself to keep talking; this was so stupid. "I don't really wanna run out of pages in my physical diary so I've decided that this is a decent way to go about it as well; more like I'm talking to someone instead of just myself; this way if I don't feel like writing I can record something instead."

I sighed, shifting my position and forcing myself to look up and at the webcam.

"Alright so, as I said before, no-one else is gonna see this, but either way I'm gonna introduce myself. Hi, my name is Andy, I'm sixteen and I'm suicidal."

I looked down again, trying to think about what else I should be saying.

"Since this' the first video diary I'm doing, I'm gonna take the time to just tell you a bit about myself. Once again, I'm just sitting here and talking to myself, so I don't know why I'm addressing this as though there's someone out there watching. But I guess you never know what the future holds, right? For all I know, someone might end up finding this by somehow getting into the folder it's locked in. You may be watching this; I may be watching this back, though I thoroughly doubt I will be because why the fuck would I wanna do that? I don't even like looking at myself in the mirror so why would I watch a recording?

"So to start off, my full name is Andrew Dennis Biersack and my birthday is the twenty-sixth of December. This is currently the third house I've lived in; I dunno what number school this is that I've gone to because I don't really count until seventh grade. If I started counting from seventh grade, this would be my second; it's nearing the end of my first year at this school though. I'm in tenth grade currently and will be starting eleventh grade soon. Not long after that I'll be out of school for good.

"It's the twenty-sixth of April which means I'm not far from summer break and God, you've no idea how much I can't fucking wait for that."

I laughed, shaking my head as I looked down miserably before speaking again.

"Something you need to know about me is that I don't have any friends," I said, avoiding looking at the webcam. "The harassment never stops and I'm at that point where I don't have any fucking clue on what to do."

I stopped, feeling as a few tears threatened. I forced myself not to cry, feeling stupid if I did. Some things weren't worth crying over.

"I've been bullied since either halfway through sixth grade or near the end," I continued, making myself look back up. "I can't remember which one it was now; feels like it's been going on forever. I thought it'd stop if I moved schools, and I moved to the school I'm at now, but it's just gotten so much worse than it was. The people here are a lot more brutal than the ones I dealt with before I moved.