After Andy (#6 in the 'Outcast' Series)

Chapter 48

Chapter 48:

-6 Years Prior-

Andy's Point of View:

"So it's currently three in the morning, and if you hadn't already noticed, I haven't really slept."

I crossed my arms, placing them on the desk as I moved my chair in a bit. I ran my hand through my hair before putting my arm back where it'd been on the desk, looking back at the webcam, seeing it still recording.

"Technically it's Thursday, the sixteenth of January," I continued on, resting my head on my hand and wishing I could sleep but knowing that wouldn't happen for at least another hour; I could get an hour or two in. "I started school here yesterday and I'm still here, so I think that's kinda good; just wish I could fucking sleep. This isn't the first time this' happened and I'm sure it won't be the last. Just so damn tired, y'know?"

I sighed, shifting slightly and looking at the time on my phone; there was a notification for Facebook, but I ignored it, as it was probably just the usual bullshit which most times consisted of people abusing my message board. I looked back to my computer.

"So I dunno how long this shit is gonna go on," I said. "It's only been one day so far, so I guess I can keep this bullshit façade up for a bit longer. Dunno what's gonna happen when it finally fucking drops and everyone sees the problems; sees everything. There's a group of guys I met today that seem to be pretty cool, so hopefully something comes out of that, but I dunno. I've already written about this today in my diary, so if you wanna know more about that then find it and read it; I don't really care right now. I dunno who I'm even fucking talking to."

I shifted my position, leaning back in my chair and crossing my arms, staring down my webcam.

"This' all just so fucking stupid; why do I even fucking bother with this shit anymore?" I asked, the question directed mostly at myself. "It's three in the morning and I'm talking to myself about all this stuff that no-one cares about and never will; something no-one will ever see. Why do I even fucking bother? Seriously? What's the damn point?"

I gave a bit of a laugh and a shake of my head, switching my gaze down.

"Y'know it's kinda funny," I said, looking back to the computer. "When I first bought that stupid notebook, the one that's become my diary, I thought that was the stupidest thing in the whole world; the only people that I knew of that kept diaries were girls; guess that goes to show how everyone sees me, right? But when I look back now, that stupid book is pretty well the only thing that I can rely on anymore; it's pretty well been my only friend for the past few years and now I'm here, videoing myself. It's kinda sad how this' the only thing I can do at this time of night when I can't sleep; the only thing that keeps me mildly sane during the dark hours anymore.

"Y'know, I had this friend once when I was in eighth grade; hard to believe I know, but there was someone I used to be friends with. Y'know what happened there? Why we stopped being friends? What happened? Well, seeing as you asked I guess I'll tell you what happened. So this guy, this friend, he pretty well gave up on me; he came up to me one day, after we'd been friends for about four months maybe, and he said straight to my face that he hadn't ever wanted to be friends with me in the first place; these guys had...had made him pretend to befriend me because he lost a bet against them."

I shook my head, feeling a few tears coming on as I looked down.

"He lost this bet and had to see how long he could pretend to be my friend; see if he could trick me into thinking he legitimately wanted to hang out with me," I continued, not looking up again. "It's kinda ironic in a way; he told me straight out that he had lost a bet and that he never liked me to begin with and that he saw me as this...this fucking freak that no-one would ever wanna be friends with and that no-one liked and never would. Now look where he ended up."