NewScapeSquad on Crack!

What is even going on here?

Jon: *walks in, tired af* Hey Dawn, can we get pepperoni pizza?

Dawn: Woah, what happened to your peter piper patter fucking pizza *sees Jon in a penguin costume* what-- pfft... WHAT *bursts out laughing*

Jon: *sighs* i gET IT. LAUGH IT UP DAWN. I JUST WANT MY DAMN PIZZA.

Dawn: Awwww does wittle baby penguin Jon want a peppewoni wizza? *laughs*

Jon: shut-- sHUT UP

Dawn: You know, it's forbidden to feed exotic birds.

Jon: tHERE IS NO WAY YOU CAN POSSIBLY KNOW THAT

Ashlie: *walks in with the same penguin costume* Hey babe *holds in laughter*

Dawn: Awww, you have a girlfriend!

Jon: *faces Ashlie* yOU ARE NOT MY GIRLFRIEND

Dawn: She just called you "babe"

Tommy: *shows up in an Emperor Penguin costume* Jon! You're so--

Jon: *slaps Tommy out of the room* dAWN I HAVE BEEN DEALING WITH THIS ALL DAY

Nick: *walks in, wearing a dog costume*

Jon: wHO ARE YOU?

Ashlie: *hugs Nick's arm* My other boyfriend.

Jon: yOU BITCH

Ashlie: I'm breaking up with you.

Dawn: wOOOOOOOO DAYUM

*bursts in* wHAT THE FUCK IS GINO FRATELLI FATFUCK SEXY TITS DOING IN THIS GODDAMN BOOK

Everyone:

*realizes Dawn is still... well... Dawn* Oh... I thought the Khonjin House characters replaced the characters in this book.

Jon: *blinks* Um... I felt weird back there for a second...

*looks at Nick and Ashlie* Well at least you two are canon Nishlie HAHAHAHHAHA

Nick: *snaps out of it* wAIT WHAT *sees Ashlie hugging his arm* wOAH WHAT

Ashlie: *snaps out of it as well* WOAH *immediately lets go of Nick's arm* HO WOAH TOO FAR

Dawn: *blinks and sees Jon in a penguin costume* Hey, you look good in that.

Jon: *looks down at himself* Oh this is actually kind of cute.

Nick: Why am I in a dog costume?

Ashlie: Why am I in a penguin with a pink hair bow costume?

Tommy: *walks in, rubbing his cheek* Yo, why does my face hurt? And why am I wearing an Emperor Penguin costume?

Uni: *opens door* Hey, can I ask why am I wearing a chef's outfit? *removes two long lines off his upper lip* And why the fuck do I have these shits?

Cory: *pops up beside Uni* Um, does anyone have any idea why is my hair dyed purple? *holds up purple fedora* Thanks for this tho, I can hide my hair. But seriously, who did this?

*tiptoes to the window* Tiptoeing in my Jo--

Tommy: *closes window and pulls me back by my collar* No "tiptoeing in my Jordan's" today. Also you don't have Jordan's.

*horrified face* tHERE IS NO WAY YOU CAN POSSIBLY KNOW THAT-- *immediately covers mouth*

Dawn: *turns head towards me* So... you think making a crossover of the Khonjin House universe and us is funny?

well... um...

Cory: *pushes everyone aside* you son of a bitch

hUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU-- YOU LOOK GOOD IN PURPLE HAIR TH--

Cory: *starts choking me* i wANT MY BEAUTIFUL GOLDEN HONEY BLONDE HAIR BACK BY THE TIME THE SUN TOUCHES THE HOUSE WITH ITS FIRST RAYS OF LIGHT OR ELSE I WILL FILL ASHLIE'S PURSE WITH BRICKS AND BEAT THE EVER-LOVING SHIT OUT OF YOU. AND WHEN IM DONE IM GOING TO THROW YOU INTO A PIT OF FIRE ANTS AND MAKE THEM BITE YOU EVERY SINGLE SECOND YOU STAY THERE WHILE THEY FORCE FEED YOU THE TINY CRUSTS OF THOSE POPTARTS

Everyone: ...

*face turns purple* ox...xygen....

Tommy: Cory, let me deal with her. This is just revenge from last time.

Cory: here. *throws me at Tommy*

*gasps* fINALL-- oh shit--

Tommy: *hurls me out of the book* tHIS IS FOR ATTEMPTING TO DELETE ME YOU DINKWEEB

Ashlie: Is she gonna come back?

Uni: She's not as famous as we are so it might be a long time before she can come back.

Nick: Well isn't that a time of peace and prosperity for us.

Jon: She's kinda fun to hang out with...

Cory: You guys are aware that she's the one behind every word in this universe... right?

Uni: Yeah.... Basically, without her, we wouldn't exist in this crack universe...

Everyone: oh god

*is floating in infinite space and silence* Um... *takes out phone* At least I can still connect indirectly to the universe... *puts phone to ear only to hear screams of chaos* wait no they completely broke the fourth wall oh god no

Cory: *rips open the fabric of space that separates their reality from the author's reality* cHOCO WHERE ARE YOU IM REALLY SORRY JUST COME BACK WE NEED YOU AAAAAAAA

*pushes Cory off the fabric and starts to sew the fabric back* yOU HAVE SURVIVED THE FIRST DOZENS OF CHAPTERS OF THIS BOOK WITHOUT ME YOULL BE FINE JEEZ