NewScapeSquad on Crack!

cORY THATS DEFINITELY A NO

<NewScapeWatch AU>

Uni (as Tracer): *just standing near the payload peacefully, checking his accelerator every once in a while*

Cory (as Widowmaker): *cocks his sniper and aims*

Uni: *looks up* A nice day to push the-- *bullet whizzes past his head and he accidentally blinks face first to the payload out of fright, then collapses on the ground*

Cory: *looks at Ashlie (as Mercy)* What do you mean "wrong"? You told me to do something that would get his heart beating so I did!

Nick (as Reaper): Cory, for fuck's sake

Uni: *is staring at Cory who is arguing with Nick, Ashlie, Dawn (as Lucio), and Jon (as Reinhardt)* oh my fucking god dude i literally almost died holy shit i should be fucking dead right now what the fuck good golly fucking god what goddamn fuckity fuck how am i still alive what does this all mean why are we even here on this earth is it all an illusion was that bullet even real am i real god save the queen