NewScapeSquad on Crack!

God bless him

Cory: *is sitting on the porch, eyes wide*

Tommy: *steps out and notices Cory* Corl? You look like you've seen a ghost.

Cory: I'm not gonna even react to what you just called me because I have more important matters to react to and question about.

Tommy: Like what?

Cory: *points at Uni*

Uni: *is drunk out of his mind, a bottle of whisky in his hand, and both of his pockets filled with bottles of whisky as he twirls all over the front yard*

Tommy: Oh my god iTS STILL NOON HOW?!

Cory: ....The answer lies in Uni's pockets, Tommy....

Uni: *laughing hysterically* I'm a ballelinaaaaaaa... A pretty, witty balinaaaaaa.... Heheheeeeeee

Tommy: Jesus christ I do not want to be that wasted.

Cory: I swear I think he has seen some crazy shit in his 29 years of his existence which led him to intoxicating him to the point of oblivion

Uni: Pweety balleli-- *trips over a rock and falls face first on the ground*

Tommy and Cory: UNI

Uni: *immediately lifts his head, having the most terrified look on his face* no no no no *stands up and grabs the bottle of whisky in one of his pockets* not my whisky *looks at it to see it undamaged* whew....i thought it cracked. i felt something wet in my pocket.

Tommy and Cory: *slowly looks at Uni's pocket to see blood slowly staining his pants* Uni....

Uni: Oh? *sees the blood* OH HAHA AT LEAST THE WHISKY'S SAFE!

Tommy and Cory: UNI NO

<A few hours later>

Ashlie, Nick, Dawn, and Jon: *sitting on the couch*

Ashlie: So what did Cory say earlier again?

Jon: He said he and Tommy are gonna take Uni to the hospital...

Nick: Why?

Dawn: Apparently Uni was drunk earlier and stuffed his pockets with bottles of whisky. He tripped and one of his pockets happened to have an opened Swiss knife.... Don't know how he forgot to close his Swiss knife....

Ashlie: I'm not gonna ask about Uni stuffing his pockets with whisky bottles but...

Jon: ...why does Uni have a Swiss knife?

Nick: ....A 29 year-old man who has a Swiss knife in his pocket and doesn't tell anyone about it is a man who had gone through some sick shit in his life that made him carry a Swiss knife at all times...

Ashlie: And add his drinking behaviour...

Nick: And that too...

*silence*

Ashlie, Nick, Jon, and Dawn: God bless the Brit's soul.