Bad Reputation | S.M.

Chapter 19

It was Saturday morning, the morning after Christmas. Once we got home last night I couldn't stop thinking, it was all my mind could do and I hated it. I couldn't sleep at all last night due to my brain telling me what and what not to do. I started to think about Shawn, my brothers, my dad, and even my mom. I got up from my bed and rubbed my face before going into my bathroom to wash my face. I quickly changed into a pair of tights, an old hoodie, and my furry boots. I put my hair into two braids before grabbing my keys and leaving a note on the door for my brothers to see. I made my way out into the cold and got into my car, which was covered in snow.

I placed the key in the ignition and made my way to the hospital. For once after two years I'm going to see my mother. It only took about twenty minutes until I arrived at the hospital where my mother was currently admitted. Unlike my father she never signed a D.N.R. meaning that once I turn 18 I will be able to decide whether or not she lives or dies. I parked my car in the hospital parking lot and made my way up to the fourth floor. I went over to the front desk to see a nurse sitting down doing paperwork.

"Hi, I'm uh here to see Alicia Ortega." I told her and she began to type on her computer.

"And your relation to her?"

"I'm her daughter." I said and she nodded. 

"She's in room 9213." She smiled and I walked to her room. I hesitated before entering her room, but once I did walk in I walked in to see her lying in the bed, eyes closed, and she had an oxygen line. I sat down next to her and just stared at her for a moment.

"Oh mom." I sighed and held her hand."Why did you have to do it? Why did you have to leave us? You could've talked to me or talked to someone. You know you weren't the only person who lost someone, you may have lost your husband, but Hunter, Jacob, me, we lost our father. I've been trying so much to hate you, but I can't, I need you! You left me, dad left me, and now I have to be the one doing everything and it's so goddamn hard mom. There is this void I can't fill and I've made so many mistakes that it scares me."

I could feel the tears roll down my cheek and I quickly wiped them away.

"Anyway, I just wanted to tell you that we're fine so far. I met this guy, he's amazing, but I'm scared he might find out about the real me. Please, fight and wake up. I love you, Merry Christmas." I got up and placed a kiss on her cheek.
-
Once I got back home from the hospital my brothers were on the couch as usual watching tv and I went back up to my room. I laid down on my bed and I noticed for once I had nothing to do, nowhere to go, or nowhere to be. I laughed at myself and snuggled back into the warmth of my bed. I had fallen into a deep sleep for about ten minutes before I was woken up by my phone ringing.

"Damn it." I said and took the phone call with out checking the caller I.D.

"Hello?"

"Nicole?"

"Who is this?"

"It's me, Adrian." He chuckled and I furrowed my eyebrows.

"Oh hey sorry I didn't check my caller I.D." I said."What's up?"

"Nothing, I was just wondering if you wanted to hang out soon?"

"Um I don't know Adrian."

"Oh come on, we'll have a couple drinks at my house my parents won't be home until New Years."

"Can I take a rain check on that?"

"Yeah that's fine, you're welcome anytime."

"Thanks, see you later." I said and I hung up. I sat on my bed and began to think what can I do. I got up from my bed and made my way towards the end of the hall. I slightly opened the creaky door to reveal a dark and cold room. I haven't been in this room since my mom and dad, after all it was their room. No one comes into this room, not even me. I turned on the light and it flickered a bit before fully turning on. The bed was made and the pictures were still hung, but it still felt empty. I sat down on the bed and took a look around at the dark, depressing room. Suddenly my thoughts were interrupted by my phone ringing. Sexy Shawn popped up on my screen. I hesitated before picking up the phone.

"Hey."

"Hi." He said and I slightly smiled. "How are you on this fine day"

"I am good Mr.Mendes thank you for asking, how are you?"

"You know, feeling lonely, you know what would make me feel better Miss.Ortega?"

"What will that be Mr.Mendes?"

"Laying in bed, watching a movie, and eating pizza."

"Then you should go do that." I said and he chuckled.

"With you!!"

"Let me check my schedule."

"Oh shut up and come over."

"Okay, do you want me to bring anything?"

"Just your fine ass."

"Okay pop star, I'll be over in ten minutes." I laughed. 

"Drive safely." He said and I hung up the phone. I put my boots back on and went downstairs to grab my things.

"I'll be home in a couple hours guys, I'm gonna leave money on the table just in case you want to order food."

"Okay, be careful." Jacob said and I smiled. I grabbed my keys and walked out to my car.  It slowly began to snow and I breathed in the cold air. Once I got into my car I made my way to Shawn's house, arriving in about thirteen minutes. I walked up to the door and knocked on the door. I heard the lock click and the door open to reveal Shawn in sweatpants and a shirt.

"Hey." He smiled. "Come in it's cold out."

"Thank you kind sir."

"You're welcome madam."

"Are your parents home?

"They went out with Aaliyah and some family members."

"How come you didn't go?"

"I kinda wanted to chill you know, and I'd rather be with you." He said and hugged me. "Let's go upstairs and watch something." He held my hand and we went upstairs to his room. His house was nice and warm, I never wanted to leave. Once we got into the room I sat on his bed and he took a seat next to me. He turned on the tv and we began to watch Frozen. We laid down and he held me in his arms.

"So why'd you leave early yesterday?"

"I thought Mike might call me, but luckily he didn't."

"That's a lie."

"What?"

"I know that's not true so just tell me, you can trust me."

"I was just tired." I shrugged."  Just leave it Shawn."

"Okay, sorry." He sighed." What did you do this morning."

"Well I couldn't sleep so I went to visit my mom."

"Wait, really?"

"Yeah."

"And are you fine?"

"I guess." I said and sat up. "It was just a wake up call that's all."

"Is there any possibility of her waking up soon?"

"The doctors don't know."

"I'm sorry honey." He said and rubbed circles on my back. I slightly smiled and rested my head on his chest. I could hear his heart beating, it was slow, but it somehow made me happy.

"Thank you."

"For what?" He asked and I looked up.

"For being there for me."

"Always." We laid back down and it took about twenty minutes for me to fall asleep to the sound of Shawn's heart beating.