Bad Reputation | S.M.

Chapter 59

I felt myself laying on a soft surface and I opened my eyes, squinting as I was met by the bright lights. I finally shut my eyes and opened them, sitting up to see I was in a hospital room. I looked down at my sore arm to see an IV attached to it before pressing the call button.

Was my mom really awake or was it just another dream?

"Hey Nicole." Nurse Amanda walked in as she applied hand sanitizer to her hands.

"Hey, what happened?" I furrowed my eyebrows, propping myself up on my elbows.

She walked over to me, checking out my pulse and the IV bag. "Well you gave us quite the scare, you fainted when you saw your mother."

"So she really is awake?" I asked her, the tears at the brim of my eyes and she nodded slowly.

"Yeah Nicole, she finally is." She smiled and rested her hand reassuringly on my shoulder. "Want to go see her?"

"What time is it?"

"Five in the morning, you slept through the night."

"And my brothers?"

"We set them up in a different room, we didn't know if you wanted to talk with them first."

"Thank you." I sighed in relief. "And yes, I think I'm ready to see her."

"Okay, are you feeling dizzy at all? Weak?" She made sure.

"No, just nervous I guess." I shook my head, shrugging. 

"Sweet pea she's your mom, don't be nervous." She smiled and extended her arms towards me. I sat up, taking her hand and I stood up, maintaining my balance. I smiled and she walked me to my mom's room while I held on to my IV bag that was on the pole.

Her room was right next to mine and I took a deep breath as I walked in. My mom was sitting up on her bed, reading a magazine, and I knocked softly on the wall. She looked towards me, a smile filling her face and Amanda left us alone as I sat on the couch right next to her.

"Hi mom." I said shakily.

"Hi Nicole."

I sighed and looked down at my hands, not knowing what to say.

"How are you feeling mom?" I started, my voice shaky. 

"I feel good, I feel better."

"That's good." I said awkwardly. We sat there in silence and I had no idea what to say, how to start off. I spent so much of the time hating her when she was in a coma that I had no clue how to start this conversation or how to keep it civil.

"How long has it been?" She broke the silence and I cleared my throat.

"About two years."

"Wow, I've missed a lot haven't I?" She scoffed. 

"Yeah a bit," I said, but then added a snarky remark, not being able to hold my tongue. "But I guess you made that decision." 

"I know Nicole, I made a bad decision." She sighed, agreeing to my remark with a long face.

"No mom, I seriously don't think you know." I felt all of my anger start to come out. I needed to vent. "Your bad decision affected not only me, but my two brothers. You left us completely alone, when we needed you the most!"

"I'm sorry Nicole, what else can I say?" She began to cry and I did the same, wiping my tears with my hand.

"I needed you mom, so much, you have no idea. These past few years, you've missed a lot! You missed Hunter's birthdays and Jacob's basketball tournaments. I had to be there for everything, cooking meals, studying, cleaning up everyone's messes, and working my ass off constantly to keep our family together, to provide for them, all because you were selfish and decided to OD in the bathroom."