Bad Reputation | S.M.

Chapter 96

After Tanya and I's talk tonight, I went home, contemplating everything, especially what Shawn had said. The words that came out of his mouth and the small gestures he made. I sat at my desk, having trouble finding the proper words to write for the website. I stared down at the time, taking note that it was close to midnight, and I had written nothing. I looked over at my phone, no text from Elijah, and I groaned, throwing it on my bed before getting up and heading into the bathroom. I did my whole night routine, sighing as I put my hair up and slapped my glasses on because my eyesight was tired. I turned off the bathroom light and changed into a pair of grey sweats and a cropped long sleeve shirt that was a light brown color.

Once my head hit the pillow I knew I wasn't going to be able to sleep. I tossed and turn, closing my eyes every once and a while, but not falling asleep completely. I sighed, watching the sun come up from my window, and decided to just get up and head out to a meeting.

I took my hair out of my bun and brushed it out before grabbing a jacket from my closet and slipping on my crocs, not dressing to impress.

I kept my glasses on, grabbing my wallet, and heading downstairs to make some coffee before catching the seven o'clock meeting.

I served myself in a thermos, putting in cream in sugar as I stirred it slowly so it wouldn't spill. I quickly wrote a note for my mom, sticking it on the fridge so she could see it when she opens it. I grabbed my keys and walked out the front door, feeling the cold air hit my face, waking me up even more. I got into my car, quickly turning it on and cranking up the heater as I took a sip of my coffee.

I soon backed out of the driveway, listening to the local radio station while I drove down the road and over to the church. There was rarely any traffic, a few cars stopped at the red light with me. I quickly pulled into the parking lot, parking my car, and getting out with my thermos in my hand, sprinting inside so I could get warm.

I was greeted by the usual early birds, and of course, Elijah isn't here because he rarely wakes up early. I smiled at everyone, taking a seat while everyone mingled before the actual meeting began.

"Now you're up early today." I heard a familiar voice and I turned to look up to see Miriam smiling at me.

"Goodmorning Miriam." I grinned and she sat down next to me, giving me a short, but sweet, side hug.

"What's got you here so early? Do you work today?" She asked and I shook my head.

"I've been up all night so I thought, why don't I just wake up and come here." I shrugged.

"What's keeping you up hun? You know, you age more when you don't sleep." She added and I giggled.

"No wonder, I keep waking up and seeing a thirty-year-old in the mirror." I scoffed. "I just can't stop thinking, you know?"

"Anything I can help you with?" She offered and I was hesitant at first, but I finally gave in, wanting an outside opinion. A wise opinion.

"Okay, so, you remember Shawn right?" I asked and she furrowed her brow.

"You're ex?"

"Yes."  I gestured with my head. "Well, he's back in my life, for a short amount of time I'm guessing because I just need him to forgive me."

"I thought you made amends with him." She pursed her lips and I shook my head.

"I know I said I did, but I didn't. Mostly because I thought by writing the article I was fine, but I learned there's no loophole for that, I guess that's why he's always been on my mind."

"No there most certainly isn't." She raised her eyebrows as she gave a disapproving look. "So what's wrong?"

"Well, he didn't forgive me right away so we've been talking a lot more recently and I don't know, it just feels right I guess. It feels like old times and I can't help but feel there's something still there."