Bad Reputation | S.M.

Chapter 60

After the phone call with Shawn I left my brothers with my mom and Nurse Amanda who was going to send for someone to bring them food while I took a cab over to the apartment to fix things up and take a shower. I held both bags in my hand while I walked up the stairs to my place. I sighed, unlocking the door and dropping everything on the floor. I began opening up all of the blinds, letting some light in and I grabbed some cleaning supplies from the cabinet under the sink.

I started with the kitchen, wiping down every surface making sure everything was clean and later moved on to the living room in order to organize everything. I felt the sweat dripping down my neck and I put my hair up, continuing on to my mom's room. I made sure to wash the sheets, running up and down the building, before making sure her room wasn't the same as how I left it.

After what was hours of cleaning up every inch of the apartment I stepped into my room, grabbing some sweats and a gray zip-up sweater along with my undergarments so I could take a shower. I turned on the faucet, stripping of my clothes and stepping into the warm water, letting it fall on my bare skin. I faced the bathroom wall, closing my eyes and holding my face in my hands.

I kind of just sat in the shower, letting the water fall on my head as I held my knees to my chest. I let my mind wonder, feeling anxious and worrisome for what felt like hours, but was only a few minutes. I know everything was fine, but I sill felt uncertain, especially of myself. I really want a drink. 

After I got the courage to stand up and get out of the shower, I changed and laid down on my newly made bed, letting the light coming from the window hit my face. I could feel the small drips of water fall down my back from my wet hair while it was pressed against the bed.

I turned my head to the left to look at my desk with the clock sitting on top of it. It was currently about to be five in the evening and as I closed my eyes someone knocked on the door. I breathed in, walking downstairs and opening  the door to reveal a flustered Shawn with a small grin on his face.

The look on my face that I gave him, he could tell what I was a feeling and he responded,

"I know." He nodded and closed the door behind him, taking me in his arms and embracing me. I wrapped my arms around him, taking in every moment, not wanting to let go. My head rested on his chest and I began to silently sob against him. He rubbed circles around my back, holding onto me tightly and walking me over to the couch. He made me feel better and he made me want a drink less and less.

He sat me down right next to him, still holding onto me while I tried to calm myself down.

"You're okay, just breathe hun." He reassured me as he wiped the tears off of my face.

"Why is it that I'm always crying now a days?" I shook my head, grossed out at myself for being an emotional mess.

"You have a reason to, its okay." I saw him give me a small smile and I calmed myself down, finally able to catch my breath.

"You're crazy for coming back this early." 

"I was worried Nicole, I'm your boyfriend I have to be here for you." He sighed heavily. "Do you want to talk about it?"

I could hear the worry in his voice and I nodded, trying to please him so he wouldn't have to worry anymore. I sat up, he held my right hand in his while his other rested on my thigh.

"She's awake." I shrugged, not knowing how else to begin. "She's awake and I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place Shawn. I have no clue how to feel. I'm glad she's finally awake, but I guess I was always ready for the worst that this seems so unreal."

"Well now you don't have to, she's here now that's all that matters. You just need to put everything in the past and hope for the best in the future." He held my hand in his.