Bad Reputation | S.M.

Chapter 80

I drove down to the liquor store, the same one from past years that sold to minors, bawling my eyes out and not being able to understand anything.  All I had to do was not fucking mess up and that's exactly what I managed to do.  I parked my car abruptly, not in the lines and wiped my tears before walking into the empty store. I saw the same cashier as always, the middle aged man who only cared about watch his shows on the small television. I went towards the racks, grabbing a bottle of cheap vodka and rum. I sighed, seeing this as my only source of comfort for tonight.

I walked up to the cashier and he looked at me, a surprised look on his face.

"Haven't seen you around here in a while." He said and I I breathed out. "Bad night?"

I simply nodded, letting a tear fall out and he had a concerned look on his face. He rung me up and handed me two paper bags as I gave him the cash.

He gave me my change and slightly smiled before I left in a hurry. I got in my car and drove off, heading towards the diner. I couldn't stop crying. No matter what I continued to replay everything in my head, hurting every single time. I got do the diner after driving recklessly and not paying enough attention. I was surprised I made it in one piece.

I grabbed my bottles and unlocked the diner, turning on the lights and locking the door behind me. I set everything down, looking around me and letting myself cry even louder than I already was. I fell to the floor behind the counter, my back against it and I opened the bottle of vodka, taking the first sip that hit the back of my throat and burned.

I sat there, staring at the bottle and taking shots every once and a while, seeing the bottle get emptier by the second. My vision began to get blurred and I kept hearing my phone buzzing, but it sounded muffled. I wasn't me anymore. I finished the bottle of vodka and stood up slowly, feeling myself buzzed as hell. I giggled to myself, tears still on my face, and walked over to the empty wall, looking at the empty bottle in my hand and throwing it at the wall.

I gasped, stumbling a bit and letting out a laugh.

"Woo!" I cheered, raising my arms up and falling to the floor accidentally. "Oops."

I stood up and grabbed the rum bottle sloppily, drinking half of the bottle in a moment's time. I gagged at the taste, but swallowed it anyway, playing loud music on the speakers before standing up on the counter. I danced, drinking and jumping around, my vision blurred and feeling lightheaded.

"So, so what? I am a rock star, I got my rock moves, and I don't want you tonight. Ba da da da da da!" I screamed the lyrics, singing into the bottle and slurring. The song was over and I finished the bottle of rum before one of Shawn's songs came on.

"Oh fuck that." I yelled, furrowing my eyebrows and throwing the bottle at the radio, causing is to break. I laughed and stepped back, missing the counter and falling onto the ground, twisting my ankle. I yelled out in pain and held my ankle, the pain going in and out. I sighed and took my shoe off, throwing it across the room.

"Ouchie."

I blew my hair out of my face and I laid down on the cold, semi- clean floor. I let a deep breath out and closed my eyes so the room could stop spinning. I let out quiet sobs and fell into a deep, drunken sleep, feeling my body go completely numb.

-

I woke up to the sound of loud ringing and my head hurting like a bitch. My eyes fluttered open slowly and I groaned, slowly getting up. I saw the sunlight come in through the windows and I squinted, feeling around for my phone. I finally was able to find it and I grabbed it, look at all of the missed calls and texts I had from my mom, Jacob, Tanya, and Adrian. I put my phone down and groaned, rubbing my face with both of my hands.