All about Flinx

Too Much Thinking

Jinx's POV

I couldn't sleep.

I was tossing and turning in my bed, trying for the past hour to find a comfortable position, but I was only growing more and more irritated rather than comfortable. But that wasnt even the worst part.

The worst part was that every time my eyes would finally start to shut, the same annoyingly happy face interrupted my attempts at sleeping.

His annoyingly happy face.

"Ugh!" I pull my pillow from under my head and press it against my face, groaning.

I don't get it. What does Wally want from me? Why can't he even leave me alone when I'm trying to sleep? Every night, it's his cocky smile that always pops into my head right before I fall asleep.

"Dammit!" I hiss into my pillow and throw it onto the floor, as if it was him I was holding.

Untangling my legs from the covers, I set my bare feet on the cold linoleum floor. There was a thin band of silver light pouring in from the gap between my curtains and the single window I had in my room. Sighing, I make my way toward the hall, pulling my pink robe around my shoulders. Someone forgot to turn up the heat.

The hallway was pitch black, save for the blinking red dots located next to the doors of rooms belonging to the others. I guess it was nice of Robin and the team to let me stay at their tower for a while until I found my own place to stay, but I couldn't help but feel like I was intruding.

As I made my way to the main room, his face kept pushing it's way through the other thoughts in my head. It was bad enough that I can't sleep, now I can't get peace in my own head.

But... I suppose it wouldn't hurt to let the face stay. I mean, if keeping these thoughts far away from me caused them to keep pushing their way in, then maybe I should just see what my mind wants.

The door to the main room slid open with a hiss and I quietly made my way around the scattered piles of video games and controllers. I remember the day I kicked the Titans out of this tower with Gizmo and Mammoth. I've never seen it that neat ever again. The couch was the only area of space with no trash on it. The way the Titans took care of this couch, you'd think it was a god.

Pulling my robe off, I sit down, leaning back against the cushioning of the couch. I immediately regretted not turning the heat up on my way here. Sighing, I lay my head back and let it roll to the side. I wasn't wearing slippers, so I pull my feet up under me and spread the robe across the front of my body, hugging it close to my chest.

From this high up in the tower, one could easily see the whole of Jump City. Even at this hour, the majority of the city was lit up in gold lights.

He could be anywhere right now, I thought. Probably sleeping. I imagined him, bundled up under his blankets, fast asleep. I should be asleep, too.

A surge of anger shot through me. If it wasn't for Wally's cocky grin, I'd be fast asleep in my bed right now! But try as I might to forget about him, it was as if his features were burned permanently into my head.

In my head, I imagined him running his fingers through his tousled brown hair. His eyes were always so sparkly. They were a blue color that I could only describe as crystalline. And, dare I admit this, something about him makes me want to run my own fingers through his hair and feel the softness for myself. How would it feel to touch his shapely cheeks? Would there be faint stubble, or is his skin as soft as it looks?

I imagined that I could feel the warmth of his skin and the softness of his hair under my fingertips. A sigh left my chest as I imagined his breath on the back of my neck. I could feel his touches as my mind drew up an illusion of him, his arms wrapped around me. I leaned back, into the hero's outstretched arms. I reached up and let my finger trail down along his cheek, letting the slight peppering of facial hair brush against my fingertip. The illusion was so well formed, I wondered if it was really happening.

As the thought crossed my mind, I suddenly became aware of the heat that spread across the skin of my own cheeks. I was absentmindedly stroking the soft fabric of my robe. The realization that what I felt, despite how real it seemed, was not real settled heavily  into the pit of my stomach and I raised my hands in front of my eyes.

How could something made up in my head feel so real? I turned my hands over, spreading my fingers apart to give each of them a silver glow in the pale moonlight. I drop one hand to my chest, feeling the erratic beating of my heart against my palm. How could something so little as a dream make my heart race like this? The hand against my heart curls into a fist.

Whatever it was that just happened, it felt so real. It feltright.

But, this aftertaste... This feeling that comes after the illusion doesn't feel as good. The same heart that was beating so fast only moments ago now feels heavy, like there's a burden on it.

Emptiness.

I groan to myself again, pressing the heels of my palms against my eyes.
"Damn you, Wally!" I mutter, falling over onto my side on the couch.

I hate the way you make me feel.