A Beautiful Disaster

30

Jens pov

Saturday afternoon all alone with blue at a dog park.

"Sit!" I say with a demanding tone and she listens and I hand her a treat then pet her head. "Good girl" I smile. Then she looks up at me again wanting more "You're adorable" I say and give another treat. Then she walks over to a tree and does her business then comes back. She puts her two paws up on the seat of the bench showing me she wants me to throw her toy so I do but it accidentally went farther than I expected. It's okay she'll be back.

While I waited I checked my phone and it's so dry. I've never been so bored. I don't wanna bother Leah although I do miss her. She's been making me feel better but now that I'm alone I start to over think things. Like what if this whole thing I have with leah is a mistake? But when I see her I just completely forget about that thought and just get feelings for her again. Ugh.

"Hey is this your dog?" A man says to me. I look up and see a muscular guy who isn't ugly. Actually I'm surprised he's actually not bad looking.

"Oh yeah she's mine. Sorry about that"

"No problem. I was watching you play with your dog.. not to sound all creepy. I just got a dog and I don't know if I'm taking care of him right and I was just trying to take visual notes. You look like you know what you're doing" he says and my dog and his starts playing with each other. He sits by me on the bench while he watched them play

"Aw well you look like everything is going right for you and your dog"

"Oh good thanks! Yea i just recently moved in this city and wanted some company cause I just moved out of my parents house so I got this one in the meantime till I get it together"

"Well congrats to you for moving out! That's a big step"

"Yeah haha"

"Well I would actually help you out with more of the dog managing stuff but I just remembered I have somewhere to be in a few minutes!" I say. I didn't lie it's actually true. I have to go meet up with my sister.

"Oh okay..uh..maybe we can exchange numbers? If you want. I-I would actually appreciate the dog help" he says nervously. Aw he's shy. Makes me laugh in my head. He better not get his hopes up.

"Well..." I look at blue playing and think "Yeah..sure" I say and look at him and smile. We exchange numbers and say our goodbyes. I meet a lot of people at this park just to make friends ands that's what I expect with me and this guy. His name is Rick. Great another "R" name.
-

Is it weird that I miss leah in a different way? Like not as a friendly way but her presence. I miss her. I miss us. I miss the thing we had that didn't last long. I was so short. We didn't even fight it just faded away. It's been weeks now and I haven't even seen her in person. We've just been texting and FaceTiming because we've been too busy. When I'm not busy she is. When she's not busy I am.

I go on my phone and randomly FaceTime her since I'm sooo bored once again.

"Hey"

"Hey. I did not expect a call sorry I look horrible"

"You look beautiful! Shut up"

"What's up?" She giggled "I miss you"

"I miss you too"

"No like I miss miss you. I miss the Bahamas..and Your presence. It's been a while since we've seen each other in person" I pout

"Jen.."

"I'm sorry I-..I'm in my feelings and I'm so bored and I wanna cry for some reason"

"Don't cryyy" She says "what else can I do?" I said.

"Stop getting in your feelings and be happy!"

"I can't. I just feel like my life is worthless at the moment. Nothings going on. Like the next party I'm going to is next month which is long from now. All I do is go to work then go home and walk Blue then go Back home."

" I know how you feel" she says. It's weird how she isn't saying much.

" Are you seeing someone?" I nervously ask.

"W-what? No? Why would you ask that"

"I feel like you are. You're not being the same"

"Oh no..I'm sorry it's just I'm so stressed about a lot right now. Mostly work. I didn't mean for you to think that way"

"Oh okay. Well when can we hang out again?"

"I don't know haha. Up to you"

"Whenever I ask you're busy. I feel like you just don't wanna see me"

"Why wouldn't I wanna see my bestfriend?"

"Because! Of everything that happened. You think we're gonna hook up again and that's not why I wanna hang out. I just really miss you" I lie. I do wanna hoop up again but I would just keep it low key. "That's not it-"

"Save it" I cut her off "if you don't wanna hang out then whatever."

"No I want to!"

"Well then name a day. I'm free this whole week"

"Friday after work"

"Okay. Perfect"

"I promise you this isn't cause I want you like that. I just miss you. You've been helping me through my breakup and I was always there for you and it just feels different because you haven't exactly been with me. Just text and call and it makes me sad and think to myself like.. does she hate me or something?"

"I'm sorry Jennifer I really am. I'll make sure Friday will be an amazing night okay? I didn't mean to make you feel like this. I swear. You're right. What happened after my breakup is true. I'll try my best to be there more"

"Thanks"

"I'm gonna go sleep now. I love you" She says. I immediately smile and cover my face for a second "don't say those three words knowing what that'll do to me"

"I felt like if I just said Love you then you'd get mad. And I do love you no matter what so..I love you" she smiles

"I love you too then" I giggle "goodnight"