A Beautiful Disaster

31

Jens pov

This week took forever but it's finally Friday afternoon meaning I'm off work now on my way to my house. Leah should be on her way too.

I got home and changed into leggings and a sweater and left my hair down since I straightened it today. Leah got here a few minutes after and I immediately hugged her tightly. It felt so good to have her in my arms.

After a long hug I pulled back and looked away.
"Are you crying?" She asked me

"No" I lie and walk away but she holds onto my hand

"Im taking you out for dinner. Somewhere by Glendale galleria. Then we can go to Glendale Galleria after" she says to me and I get happy. I love going there and I know exactly where I want to eat. She knows too.
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"Thanks for dinner" I say with my heart filled with joy. I'm so full and the whole conversation me and Leah had made up for the past weeks of not being together. She's so sweet.

Since there was no parking we just walked over down two streets away to go to Glendale galleria. All we did was look around and shop. We took about two hours and our last stop was to get hot chocolate at Starbucks since it got super cold. After we ordered we sat at one of the tables. I played with my fingers while looking around. Then I feel leah pull my fingers towards her and I look. She's checking my nails out.

"You got them done?"

"Yeah. Finally."

"They look cute"

"Thank you..I know I haven't got them done in forever. Cause you know..can't get acrylics" I shrug my shoulders. She smiled a bit and looked back down at my nails. "Guess it's time for me to get mine done too" she said and i don't know why that kind of hurt me. It's like she's officially saying she doesn't wanna mess around anymore. I know that sounds stupid but like it's the truth. She knows if she touched me with nails on it would hurt and her saying that she'll finally get them done means she doesn't wanna mess around and that's that.. I got mine done because I felt like I needed a day to myself to just relax and shit. Now I'm sad. This night was great till she said that.

I didn't say anything back and tapped onto the table then pulled my hands away and got up to go to where they gave the drinks even though they haven't called my name. I just didn't feel like sitting there anymore. I waited for just five more minutes and they called Leah's name since she paid for both. I just got my drink and walked out past Leah while she was still going towards her drink.

I went outside and slowly walked trying to bundle myself up since I was cold.

"Jennifer" she calls out but I don't answer. She eventually caught up. "Hey why so fast" she says but I don't answer. She probably doesn't know the issue but whatever. Who am I kidding. Why'd I ever think we could be an actual thing. And this is not just cause of the nails I just knew she'd act distant after we got back. Bahamas was just a one time thing since it was just us two. I've made a fool of myself. I just wanna go home now and cry myself to sleep. It's that bad.

We got back to my place and she stayed for a little. But now she's about to leave.
"You don't want me to sleep over?" She asks me while getting her stuff. "No I'll be okay" I say as if I am okay. She gets to my door and opens it. I distantly follow them she turns around.

"I'll see you soon. Goodnight" She says and reaches her arms out. I sigh and force myself to her and hug her. I barely hugged her and she noticed. "You sure you don't want me to stay?"

"I'm sure." I said in an annoyed tone. "Okay..well bye then" "bye" I say softly. she smiles and takes a few steps going to her car. "No 'text me when I get home? Or drive safe?'"

"Right.. text me when your home and drive safely" I say and lean my head on the door frame looking at her and cross my arms.

"I'm serious jen I'll stay if you want"

If she stays I'd wanna kiss her and cuddle and maybe even sex..but mostly the kiss and cuddles cause I'm just in the mood for that.

"I'm fine" I say and force a smile and she nods her head and gets in her car and leaves. Once her car was out of sight from where I was standing at the door I close my eyes and a tear immediately goes down my face. I turn around and close my door and go up to my bathroom and shower right away. Yes I cried in my shower and cried myself to sleep like I said. I don't know why I'm so sad and I can't tell Leah this time because it's about her.