A Beautiful Disaster

41

Leah's pov

Did I really think this through? No.. I'm now realizing how much shit jen will go through after this but she had to know and I can't think of a better way to tell her. There probably is a better way but I'm just that stupid.

I looked around after jen said "what" then I looked back at her and she was so confused but looked sad. "I-I can't do this jen..us.. it's too much for me to handle. It's hard enough for you to hide this thing we have.." "Oh and all of a sudden it's easy for you to show how you feel? Telling me this while we're on the dance floor while I'm in my feelings?" She says. I got nervous and held her arm trying to pull her with me back to our table but she yanked her arm away "don't touch me" she says but follows me.

We sat down and she looked straight into my eyes. "Soo..." "I'm sorry jen.." I pause and look down and played with her fingers. " so what we have is done?...you're just gonna break up with me like this?" "We were never even an official couple Jennifer!" I raise my voice "yeah but I told you that I loved you and you said it too. Does that not mean shit to you?!" She says quite dramatically. "I do love you but..not in a way that I wanna-" "you wanna what? Huh? You know that I love you and by love I mean feelings for you and you just say you love me back assuming I knew you didn't mean the way i meant it?"

"I didn't wanna hurt you..what was I supposed to say that night? Just leave you hanging?"

"Well what's happening to me right now? I'm obviously fucking hurt. You could've just said nothing and explained to me that you aren't ready for that level yet but you had to be so stupid and do this here." She said and let go of my fingers and started wiping under her eyes. "Honestly..like- you're my bestfriend leah. You know everything about me. Yet...you still tell me what's going through your head this way?" Her voice was cracking and I'm actually dying deep down inside because it's also hurting me. "I know but.." "those times you'd treat me. What was that to you? You didn't feel anything for me at all?" "I did Jennifer but my feelings were not as strong as yours and I was trying to slowly make this thing we had go slow but you wouldn't let that happen"

Jen rolled her eyes and stood up grabbing her stuff "Wait jen.." I say and hold her arm "no let go of me. Im done" she says and walks away. Great now I need a ride to her house to get my car. I'm not even in the mood to dance so I went straight to the bathroom and looked at myself in the mirror. Now I'm crying? I really didn't think this through. This is the most dumbest way to break up with someone you weren't even with. I hate myself. I could've done better. I don't know how to handle things when it's for myself. Only for others
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Jens pov

The second I got home I plopped onto the couch and started crying. I tried so hard to hold it back but all you can hear in my house is nothing but me sniffling and my dogs paws hitting against the wooden floor. I can't believe this actually happened. After all I've went through and Leah helping me with it then she becomes that person who breaks my heart. I trusted her with everything I had. I gave her everything. Now I have nobody. She was my only real friend. I have other friends but she was the one I told my problems to and now I can't even do that and I have to keep it to myself.

The next day I felt even worst. Leah hasn't texted or called me at all. But I mean why would she? It's not like I broke up with her. I should be texting her but I'm so pissed off but also sad. I spent the whole day today in bed with my dog even though I should've taken her out today. Then the rest of the week was just horrible. I've ignored all my texts from everyone but people in the office noticed what's up with me. The only person I can really talk to This about is my sister. She's my other best friend I guess since she's the only one who knows about me and leah.

Friday night I went over to my sisters house and told her everything. There was a lot of crying from me of course.
I looked at my sister who looked like she was thinking.

"You should've told me this breakup happened way before I gave Leah Ricks' number" she says and my eyes widen "you what?!" "I didn't know you two broke up and so I gave her the number since I had it cause your contacts loaded into mine because of our Apple ID."

"You-" I paused and sighed "Ugh..fuuck" I groaned. I went from confident for a second to sad again. "She's gonna end up with him!" I say and bury my head into my hands. "She's mine.." I say with a pitched voice because I started crying. I felt my sisters arms go around me and she started rubbing my back. I miss leah so much and I'd do anything to at least be her bestfriend again. I could keep shit to myself. She doesn't have to know. I just hate not seeing her anymore.