A Beautiful Disaster

43

Jens pov

This must be why Andrew felt so horrible and depressed and everything after Leah left him. I understand him now. It sucks so much having Leah just leave you. She's done it to two people now but with me it was way too unexpected. I thought things were good. The sex was good, the spending time together was fun, and I miss how we would mess around in a playful way. That was my favorite. Nobody's gets me like she does and nobody gets her like I do. But it is what it is. Although I know I'm not over it and it's been 3 weeks ever since. My sister said Leah was going to text me two weeks ago and she never did. I had my hopes up for that because it was just to talk about things since everything happened so fast. I miss her so much as a best friend and I really looked forward to having her as my girlfriend. I was getting there but then I didn't know she wasn't in love with me. What a fucking liar. I like her too much though that I'd forgive her. Not easily though but I know I'd forgive her.

When is it right to text her? She wouldn't block me because we didn't fight. I had the last word. I guess I'll still give it time. She won't move on that quick

-
I'm supposed to run errands today on a Sunday so that's what I'm doing but my sister came along since we had brunch together. I swear all she does is give me lectures when we bring up a problem. Like mine and Leah's problem. Yeah I'm getting a lecture right now.

".. how many times have I told you to not over do things? You made things go fast and accidentally fell in love with her so quick and now she broke your heart" she says to me as I'm driving to the post office. "Shut up I know! Don't rub it in my face how stupid I am." "I'm just saying. Anyways she's been texting me too. I guess I'm her new friend since she doesn't have you. It's not a lot of texting but it's like every other day."

"Does she ask about me?" "Sometimes"
I sighed and bit my lip while watching the road. Just thinking of her makes my heart ache. "Don't think about her a lot jen. You'll get over her and I know you two will become friends again"

"But thats the problem. She's everything you would want. She knows me, we do everything together, we have inside jokes, we have adventures together..everything! Combine that with her becoming my girlfriend? That would've been perfect. She made me happier than I could ever be after reina..reina was amazing till she fucked up a couple of times."

"If you didn't break up with Reina this wouldn't have happened" she said "nope. I cheated on reina" I laughed and my sister got mad and I mean mad. But I explained it to her all so she calmed down and understood but was still kinda mad. I used to be so confident in myself and I thought a while back that Leah would never leave me because I'm amazing at everything..and yes I mean in bed too. But now I lost so much confidence because I over think things asking myself if she'd ever come back to me. I thought she would because I'm amazing..I'm not that conceded.. but now I thought It would be hard for her.

-
Weeks passed. I found out Leah and Rick are now dating. Am I upset? Of course.. but my feelings for her had faded but once I found out I got mad. I'm not looking for anyone to be with at the moment. Taking a break on dating feels better. Dating would take my mind off of Leah but I just don't want to date. I'm focusing on my life properly more instead of going out a lot now.

It was going fine till I had a party I was going to and Leah was going to be there but with her boyfriend. I'm going with my sister.

At the party I was just chilling at the couch with my sister and friends, it wasn't like a huge party in a hall but there's lots of food and people. 30 minutes later Leah gets here but I act like I didn't see her. Well I tried but everyone was greeting her and her boyfriend making a whole commotion and shit.

"I'm gonna say hi" my sister says "no! Don't" I begged "she's coming on our side anyways to say hi to Jaz and Christine.." she's right and me and my sister are between those two friends. Surprisingly Leah said hi to my sister and then me. I stood up from the couch and acted my fakest. I smiled and said hi and we hugged. Yes I felt some type of pain but whatever.

"Hey jen!" Rick says but I ignored him. I didn't care about him. I sat back down and went on my phone till she went on the other side of the house to see everyone.

"She looks good" I say quietly to my sister while rolling my eyes. "Go talk to her" "the hell? No!" "Come on!! You two need to at least be friends again" "no cause I still like her" my sister groaned and left to get food leaving me here with my other friends which was fine. We all talked and laughed and all that shit then later went to get more food together. I got my plate and followed my friends since I was being slow and going on my phone so I ended up last but some left to go to other people, some went to get their drink and some went back inside. Jaz stayed with me but shit...Leah came out here to get food too. Jaz really had to call her over here and Rick wasn't with her so I just pretended to get more food even though my plate was so full.

"Jen tell her what's wrong with her look" Jaz says jokingly. "I don't see anything wrong" I say looking at Leah for a sec then at my phone "no look! Get off your phone" she says and points to her shirt. Leah's eyes were at Jaz. We made no eye contact. "She looks fine" I say and shrug and then that's when Leah looks at me but I had to look away a second after. "Her shirt! I told her to not wear white" "why?" "She spilled on her shirt the last time I saw her"
Okay as if I knew that.. "Oh..haha"I fake laugh and Jaz looks at me weird. I don't understand but ok. "Wait Johnny is here!! I'll be right back" Jaz says unexpectedly and walks over to that guy. She just left me and Leah alone what the fuck. I didn't wanna say anything so I slowly turn around making it look all smooth and try to leave but I felt a hand, her hand, hold onto my finger. I took a deep breath and froze.

"She said she'd be back" leah says softly and that made my heart beat a little faster. I turn back around and face her but didn't look right at her "let's talk" she said. I miss that voice. All of that work trying to get over her was for nothing. Now I'm back missing her and my hopes are about to go up but I don't know what to expect