A Beautiful Disaster

38

Leah's pov

The other day jen got mad at me and I'm trying not to be as sweet as I have been lately just cause I don't want her to fall so in love with me but I feel like it's getting too late for that. She fucking loves me like crazy. I'm just scared for the day she'll want me to become official with her cause I'm not ready for that yet. To me this is all still just a thing that we mess around with each other a lot. But right now she's over what happened and she's actually at my house right now in my bed sleeping because she wanted to come over just to nap. Not even hang out just nap because she likes my presence. It's 7 in the evening and she's barely waking up. She came here at 3.

"Ugh you're making way too much noise out here" she says coming in the kitchen "I was about to make dinner sorry"

"It's fine. Sorry I slept the whole time. I love your bed" she says with her rusty but hot voice "I was too busy anyways so it's okay"

"I'm gonna get going now"

"Oh you don't wanna stay for dinner?" I ask. "I'm not hungry" "no stay! I'll make you dinner" jen starting groaning "fine. Only cause you said so"

"What's that supposed to mean?" I ask "I don't know" she giggled and sat at the stool watching me prepare food. She sat there for minutes and even started taking pictures and or videos of me cooking.

"You know you're like.. wife worthy. Look at you being such a grown adult."

"I've lived by myself for a long time of course I do these things" I say facing away from her "Yeah I know. Me too but like it's kinda hot seeing you do all that" she says as I gathered the ingredients for the food and turned around to get something else and face her way and I just raised my brows but didn't look at her "thanks?" I say. "Mhm"

I continued cooking and it took just about 30 minutes. Then I started serving her the food and she waited for me till I was ready to eat to.
"This smells and looks so good! Lemme take a pic" she says and she takes a pic of the food with me in the picture too and I just smile for it. "Cute" she says then puts her phone down and starts eating. "So? Have you decided what you're wearing next week?"

"Yea but you'll have to wait and see. It's a surprise" "a surprise? Wow. Now I'm too excited" she says happily and continues to eat "Yeah well it's not all that I just want you to wait till the day of" "well then you'll have to wait for mine too then" "deal"

It got quiet for a bit only cause we were eating. It's nice having her here but I'm really not feeling anything tonight at all. It's also bothering me that I wanna tell her so bad about what goes through my mind but I'm scared to tell her because it could ruin everything. This is why I would never want a relationship with my bestfriend. Even if my bestfriend were a boy. Things will get fucked up and then everything changes and you loose all the memories you've had with your bestfriend because of fucked up things that happened in the relationship. I guess I'll just keep it to myself for now. Just slow things down without making it obvious.

A few minutes after we finished our food jen was getting ready to leave. She was picking up her stuff from my room then went to my front door about to open it and I followed. "See you...when?" She asks
"Whenever" I say and smile. "Mmkay I'll text you" she says and gets closer to me and gives me a kiss "I love you" she says and my heart pounds but I just say it "I love you" I smile and she gets out and I watch her leave. She's so hot when she leaves. The way she walks can catch my attention so quick. Once her car is out of sight I close my door and sigh then go straight to shower.

Of course I thought about everything in the shower. I hate myself for making jen this way. I should've never had sex with her this many times it's getting out of hand but she's just so good at it and I have nobody else to fix those needs I have. I'm not crazy it's just that when I was with Andrew of course it was a regular thing so I'm still not used to the no sex shit even though I faked a lot towards the end of mine and Andrews relationship. Then when jen came along into my sex life, things changed so much. I didn't even know I was good at pleasing a girl too but i just did whatever. Her moans..motivate me? I guess..sigh..like I always say..this is a mess