twenty five / not now

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‘’Where is she? She should be resting! Why isn’t she in her bed?’’

I nervously watched from the corridor as the four boys filled my hospital room. Patrick was ranting at the nurse. I knew he didn’t mean it, I knew he was just anxious to see me, but I was glued to the spot. I could see Pete. I could see him through the glass. He couldn’t see me, but I already had that anxious feeling return. I began to wipe my hands on the sides of my leggings.

I continued to stare into the room, until Andy caught my eye. He stared with a raised eyebrow, wondering whether to say anything or not. I put a finger to my lips and ushered him outside. I hid behind a filing cabinet and watched him excuse himself from the room. He walked out and I grabbed his arm, pulling him behind the cabinet.

‘’Oh my God,’’ Andy hugged me tight. His arms tensed around me and he planted a huge kiss on my cheek, ‘’I’ve never been so scared in my life, Ell,’’ He sniffed back his tears and hugged me again.

‘’You wanna go back inside?’’ I shook my head.

‘’I’m scared, Andy,’’

‘’Shall I get Patrick?’’ I nodded.

Andy smiled and headed back into the room. I watched him pull Patrick aside and he soon came out. I moved myself from behind the filing cabinet and out into the corridor. His eyes said it all. He didn’t need to speak for me to realise that he was totally distraught about what happened, but in an emotional wreck at the sight of me being awake.

‘’I love you,’’ was all he would mumble as he hugged me. I hugged back, physically thanking him without telling him that it was his voice that was what woke me up.

‘’Patrick I’m so scared,’’ I shook my head as he held my hands tightly.

‘’It’ll be okay. I promise. Pete wouldn’t dream of laying a finger on you, alright? I swear, you’ll be fine,’’

I slowly nodded and grabbed hold of Patrick’s hand. He gave me a reassuring squeeze. I smiled, knowing that he knew I did squeeze his hand, no matter what the other boys said.

Patrick pushed open the door, I followed him inside. I kept my eyes fixed firmly on the ground before me. I could feel everybody staring at me so I quickly sat back down on the bed. I rested my hands in my lap and took deep breaths.

‘’Ell I’m so sorry I didn’t-‘’

‘’Pete,’’ Patrick wedged himself in-between Pete and myself, ‘’Not now, man,’’ He shook his head. I lifted my eyes and saw Pete. He gulped and nodded. I put my head back down when he looked at me once more. After that, Pete left.

a/n hola

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