feel ➳ post malone [IN EDITING]

03

After Randy made me change into a maroon skater dress I brought, we were on our way. Not before I argued with her about the shoe choice, settling on my white converse paired with a denim jacket to cover me up more.

We stroll into the party that's held in a big white house on Greek row, neither of us looking like we came together. The house is filled with sweaty college students, unapologetically drinking while underage. How idiotic. Red cups litter the floor and I am pretty repulsed as I have to step over them along with various substances. Gross. I want to be in bed.

"Olivia, welcome to your first college experience," Randy looks at me and then back at the flood of people I don't know or have any desire to. I nod, my face surely full of disgust.

"It's even worse than I imagined," I say, raising my eyebrows as I take in the sights. A couple is sitting on the wooden stairs, swallowing each others' faces as a girl is passed out behind them. This is what is considered fun to these people? Randy laughs at me and shakes her head.

"Well, I'll fix you a drink," She suggests as we walk further into the fraternity. "Nothing too crazy. Maybe a Coke with just a splash of Jack?"

"Why can't I just have a normal Coke then?" I ask, just wanting to make it through this one hour I promised her. I don't need a drink. I don't want one.

"Because I'm trying to get you to loosen up," she sighs, turning to me and shaking my shoulders. "Once you try, you'll see it's not as bad as it seems. I'm not saying you have to, but it'd be cool to party with my new friend."

"Randy, thank you for being so concerned about me having fun," I look at her with sincere eyes and shake my head. "But this just isn't my thing. I think I'm going to leave."

"Please don't," she grabs my hand. "Look, I'll go get you a drink, a non-alcoholic one, and you can find some cool people to talk to. Just make friends, don't focus on the fact everyone is getting shitfaced."

"How could I be friends with anyone here?" I ask, looking around at everyone. I promise no one here wants to talk about how Eleanor & Park is the perfect book or analyze every theory I have about The Hunger Games. It is as cliché as a party in a typical teen movie which I don't understand. Some people have their tongues down each other's throats, some are drinking beer out of a funnel, and some are dancing in ways I never thought were possible.

"You're my friend, right?" She asks me and I turn back to her with confusion in my eyes. Am I? Is this friendship? Because I don't know if I'd ever pressure a friend like this.

"Yeah, I guess so," I nod through gritted teeth. I want to go back to the dorm so badly. I need to find a way to leave.

"Listen, since you came tonight, I'll go do something you want to do some other time," she smiles, thinking this bargain will get me to stay. "But you just have to loosen up a little bit. Not saying you have to drink, but just have fun. Deal?"

"Okay, Randy, I will try," I huff and she smiles. I hold my hand up before she gets too excited. "But the second I feel even a little bit uncomfortable, I am leaving."

"I'll take it!" She shrieks, pulling me in for a hug. A small smile frames my lips as she squeezes me. "Okay, if you don't want anything, I'm gonna go fix me a drink. See you soon."

I nod, sending her on her way, and walk towards a couch that is empty. No one wants to be the party pooper like me but luckily, I could not care less. I gaze at everyone, they do seem to be having fun. This just is not my idea of fun and I can't imagine it being.

"You look like you're having the time of your life," a guy says sarcastically as he sits down next to me. His earthy scent fills my senses as I look over at who it is. No, not the boy I had seen earlier that day. Oh no, not this. Please go away.