feel ➳ post malone [IN EDITING]

32

fast car // tracy chapman

I walked to Parker's house after declining a ride from Austin. Parker was pissed at Austin and I didn't want to make it worse.

I closed the gate that led to Parker's porch and walked in the door he had left unlocked for me.

"Parker!" I called out for him. "I'm here."

"In my room!" He yelled back. I walked down the short hallway into his room. He was in his bed playing on his phone.

"Hey," I said, taking off my shoes. "What's up?"

"Nothing," he said bitterly, biting his fingernails.

"Parker, I know you're mad but can I at least get an explanation as to why?" I asked him, sitting on the bed.

"You want to know why?" He sat up. "You're my best friend and I'm watching you get treated like shit."

"How am I getting treated badly?" I asked him.

"Austin fucking sucks, Olivia, and you're smart enough to see that but you choose not to," he huffed. "For some reason, you keep hurting yourself and I have to sit back and watch."

"I'm my own person, Parker. I can make my own decisions," I told him. "And I will make my own decisions."

"They're not the right decisions," he scoffed, crossing his arms.

"Since when did you get so judgmental, Parker?" I yelled at him as I stood up. "This isn't the guy I became friends with!"

"You aren't the girl I became friends with!" He yelled back. "I thought you were stronger than this. But the first guy that gives you attention gets all of yours."

"Well since we've both changed so much, maybe we shouldn't be friends anymore," I said calmly.

"Maybe we shouldn't," Parker agreed. I grabbed my shoes and walked towards the door. "You can have Austin. But when he breaks your heart, don't come running to me."

"I won't need to," I said before storming out of his room and then out of his house. I huffed and took out my phone. It was almost two in the morning, and my phone was on five percent.

I found myself dialing Austin's number as I cried.

"Hello?" Austin answered.

"Hey," I sniffled.

"What's wrong?" He asked me. I wiped my eyes as I got ready to explain.

"Parker is mad at me," I cried. "We decided we shouldn't be friends anymore."

"Why is he mad at you?" He questioned. I didn't want to tell him that he was the reason.

"It doesn't even matter," I told him. "I'm just really upset and I don't know what to do."

"I'll come get you and we can go riding," he suggested. "Unless you're tired."

"No, we can ride around," I said, wiping my cheeks.

"Okay, I'll be there soon," He told me. I heard keys jingling in the background.

"Okay," I said. "Bye."

"Bye, Liv," he said before the call ended.

I turned around to see Parker standing in the window, staring at me. He rolled his eyes and walked away from the window. I started crying again. I felt terrible. He was just looking out for me.

Austin pulled up as I was sitting on the curb, playing with loose gravel.

"Hey, babe," he said, getting out of his car. "Let's go."

He walked me to the passenger side and opened the door for me. I slid in and waited on him to get in the driver's seat.

As we rode down the road, I tried hard not to cry. I was shocked when I felt a hand on mine. I looked over at a smiling Austin. I grabbed his hand and held it. He smiled more.

"You got a fast car, is it fast enough so we can fly away?" Austin sang to me as he drove down the road, holding my hand. "We gotta make a decision: leave tonight or live and die this way."

I smiled to myself and looked out the window, watching the lit buildings pass by us. That's something I love about Austin, he could make me feel alive in my saddest moments.

We pulled onto a small road. It was quite long, leading up a mountain. When we got to the top, I could see the entire city of Los Angeles. We got out of the car and sat on the hood of his car.

"It's beautiful," I smiled, looking at all of the lights.

"Yeah," Austin said. I looked at him and he was staring at me. "You are."

"Okay. Cheese," I laughed, putting my head down. He lifted my head up and kissed me, causing butterflies to take flight in my stomach.

"You don't get told enough how beautiful you are," He said quietly. "Seriously, Liv."

"I don't feel beautiful," I admitted. I never had felt pretty.

"Shut up," he rolled his eyes. "I'm not a complimenter. But you are something else."

I looked around. The wind was blowing causing Austin's stray hairs from his bun to fly. He was the beautiful one. Everything seemed right in this moment. Too right.

"Austin," I breathed.

"Hmm?" He asked.

"I-I think I love you," I looked at him.

His eyes widened and he hopped off the hood of the car.

"Olivia," he sighed, putting his face in his hands. "I'm not ready for this."

"I-I'm sorry," I shook my head. "I shouldn't have said that. I didn't mean to say it. I mean, I do think I love you but I didn't mean to tell you. I'm so sorry, Austin."

"No, uh-," He looked at me and sighed. "I'm glad you told me how you feel but I can't- I just- I'm not ready for this, Liv."

"I know, and I'm sorry I ruined this moment," I said, tears filling my eyes. "Everything seemed so perfect."

"Just... Just give me some time," He nodded to himself. "I'm sorry."

"It's fine," I took a deep breath in. "Can you take me home?"

"Olivia, don't do this," he breathed.

"Do what?" I asked. "I just don't want to ruin anything else. Please take me back to the dorms."

"You haven't ruined anything," He said. "Stop."

"Austin," I glared at him. "Take me home. Now."

"Okay," He threw his hands up. "I care about you so much. More than you could ever know. But please remember that I don't love easy. Those words mean a lot to me. I can't just let them slip unless I truly know it."

"I'm sorry," I cried. "I don't know anything about this. I don't even know what love is. But I just- I am so sure I love you."

"I'm so scared of loving you," Austin said, tears threatening his eyes too.

"Why?" I asked him. "What is the reason?"

"Because I know you'll end up leaving just like everyone else."

a/n: THIS. CHAPTER. WAS. SHITTY.

but omg she loooooves him !!!!

also, i updated twice in a day???? wow !!