feel ➳ post malone [IN EDITING]

47

roger rabbit // sleeping with sirens

Parker and I had been hanging out a lot the past week. I had been ignoring all of Austin's calls and texts. And, I haven't been to my dorm much because I just don't feel like seeing Austin and I know he'll show up.

I sat on Parker's couch with him as we watched Moana. His left arm was wrapped around my shoulders as he ate popcorn with his right hand. I looked at him intently as he focused on the screen.

"What are you looking at?" Parker smiled, looking over at me.

"Not too much," I joked with him. He just laughed.

Parker isn't a bad guy and he sure would be an
amazing boyfriend. But there's one problem– he isn't Austin.

Parker looked at me this time and then leaned in to kiss me. I pulled away involuntarily. When I seen he was embarrassed, I immediately said something.

"I'm sorry," I told him, shaking it off. I just-"

"No, it's fine," He assured me. "Trust me, I understand. I'm not who you want to be with."

"Parker, don't say that," I frowned. "You know that isn't true."

"It is true, Olivia," He told me. "You don't think I know what's going on?"

"What do you mean?" I questioned.

"You're hurt and you know I'll do anything to make you feel better," Parker smiled sadly. I didn't mean to make him feel bad. "I know you're using me as a crutch. And I allow it because you mean a lot to me."

"I'm sorry I've made you feel that way," I apologized as I shook my head. "I haven't meant to, you're one of my best friends."

"I think that's all we'll ever be," he shrugged. "Friends. And I have to be okay with that."

"I like you, Parker," I told him. "And I know you'd treat me so well."

"But that's not what you want, is it?" He asked. I didn't answer. "You want Austin and there's no way I can change your mind."

"I'm sorry," I looked down. He was right. I couldn't just get over him that quick.

"Hey, Austin is having a party right now," Parker suggested. "I will totally go with you to make him jealous."

"We don't have to do that," I shook my head.

"I know you want to," He nudged me. I laughed. "Come on and get out of your sweatpants."

I got off of the couch and ran to his room, changing into jeans. He changed into jeans, too and ran his fingers through his already messy hair.

Soon, we were in the car on the way to Austin's. I had no idea why I was nervous but I was. We soon arrived to see cars parked everywhere.  We parked and got out of his car, walking up to the booming house.

"Let's do this," Parker smiled, grabbing my hand and holding it. We entered and seen the usual ocean of sweaty and drunk bodies.

I immediately dragged Parker into the kitchen, getting us both drinks. I poured me a blue concoction that had been made and Parker grabbed himself a Dos Equis.

After we got our drinks, we walked into the backyard where there were numerous people outside. Some were playing beer pong, some were playing horseshoes. Parker and I stood by the wall, drinking and talking.

"There's Austin," I said to Parker as I watched him walk outside with Zoe following close behind him. Of course. "What do I do?"

"You can use me however you want," Parker shrugged. I turned to look at Austin and seen Zoe looking my way. I quickly grabbed Parker and pressed my lips to his. He kissed me back. It made my stomach turn, and not in a good way. In a way that felt like I shouldn't be doing it.

"Olivia," I heard Austin's voice and pulled away from Parker. Regret filled me instantly. Austin's eyes searched mine looking for answers. "What are you doing here?"

"I just, uh- we got bored," I looked at Parker and then back at Austin.

"So you came to my house? With him?" Austin asked. I knew I was in the wrong.

"Kinda thought it was an open invitation," I shrugged. "Like all of your other ones."

"But you're going to come here and kiss someone you've told me not to worry about in front of me?" He looked so hurt and I felt so bad.

"Come on, Austin," Zoe chimed in, standing behind Austin like his shadow.

"Not now, Zoe," He said and then looked back at me. "What has gotten into you?"

"Me? What about you?" I questioned. "You're the one that didn't believe me about Lenny."

"Olivia, can we talk about this privately?" He asked.

"No, Austin," I shook my head. "You left me and also called her when I told you not to!"

I pointed at Zoe and she scoffed.

"Austin, this bitch isn't worth it," Zoe had the nerve to say.

"Zoe, back the fuck off!" Austin turned around and yelled at her. I will admit, I found joy in it.

"You want to call me a bitch?" I laughed, stepping up towards her and pushing her slightly.

"Olivia, you're not a fighter," Parker chimed in. I ignored him.

"You're the one that told me Austin loved me and went to try and have sex with him," I pushed her again. "You're the one that just watched Lenny assault me and then ran to tell Austin I was making out with Taylor."

"Olivia, you have no idea who the fuck you're messing with," Zoe shoved me back but I didn't budge.

"And you apparently have no idea who you're messing with," I got closer to her face. I had no idea where my bravery came from. Maybe because I was sick of people pushing me around.

"I will fuck you up," she told me, shoving me to the ground. Austin and Parker both got down beside me.

"Zoe, enough!" Austin yelled. At this point, we had a crowd around us.

"No, not enough," Randy walked up behind Zoe and yanked her to the ground by her hair. She squatted down beside her and smiled. "I'm not nice like Olivia."

"Get the fuck off of me, you skank," Zoe said.

"Hmm, skank. I've been called worse," She shrugged. "You leave her and Austin alone or you'll be in the ground instead of on it."

Randy let Zoe go and she got up, staring me down.

"You need to leave, Zoe," Austin stared at her. "And never come around again."

Zoe breathed heavily and looked at me with raging eyes, "Lenny should have done it when he had the chance."

a/n: I HATE THIS BOOK SO MUCH SO THE CHAPTERS HAVE STARTED TO SUCK. IM SO SORRY OMG.

check out my new book, cutthroat. :•)