feel ➳ post malone [IN EDITING]

23

On Tuesday morning, I woke up around six to be able to get ready and get to my 8am class.

I walked downstairs, completely ignoring the breakfast my mom had made me. I grabbed my keys and began to walk out of the door.

"Olivia Paige!" My mom yelled. I rolled my eyes and then turned to her. "What is your problem? You've barely came out of your room all weekend. You're not mad about that damn boy, are you?"

"Mom, I just don't want to eat. I need to leave," I said in a monotonous tone. I thought to myself. Yes, I am mad about that.

"Whatever, Olivia. That boy doesn't have any classes with you, does he?" She scoffed. I've had enough of it.

"That boy's name is Austin," I said before walking out of the door. I didn't care to speak to her anymore. I never use cuss words but she was a... bitch! I couldn't stand her.

I quickly got in my car and drove to the campus that wasn't far away.

When I arrived, I parked in front of the rather large building. I got my things and walked in. Parker wasn't in class today and I was pretty upset. But despite that, the class flew by pretty quickly.

When it ended, I quietly gathered my things and left. Upon exiting the brick building, I seen Austin leaning against the wall, smoking a cigarette. I was hoping he wouldn't see me even though my heart was aching to talk to him.

"Liv!" He said as I walked past him. "Liv! Olivia!"

I continued ignoring him even though I just wanted to turn around and hug him and let him make me feel better.

He grabbed my arm and spun me around. His blue eyes were sparkling in the sun and it was moments like this that made me fall for them.

"Why have you been ignoring me? What did I do?" He asked, still holding my arm. Goosebumps littered my skin as he touched me. "You haven't answered any of my texts or calls."

"I'm sorry, Austin," I shook my head and tried my best to keep from crying. "But we can't do this anymore."

"Do what?" He asked in a broken tone. "What's going on?"

"I can't see you anymore," I choked.

It hurt me to say it. I didn't want to do this but I knew my mom was right in a way. Sure, Austin is great right now. But what happens when he gets tired of me? I'm going to be so hurt and I won't even have my mom to console me then.

"What did I do wrong?" His voice cracked. "Olivia, I have been trying so hard. Whatever it is, we can try to work it out. I know I do-,"

"It's my mom," I cut him off. "My mom doesn't want me to see you."

"Why did you tell her?" He asked, looking at me with his beautiful blue eyes.

"She seen us kiss," I shrugged, not really knowing what else to do.

"Fuck," he ran his hands through his hair that was down today. "I've been trying so fucking hard for you, Olivia. Please don't do this."

"It means the world to me that you've tried," I said, a tear falling from my eyes. "But she's my mom. I have to respect her rules."

"Not if you don't live with her," Austin said. "Just come back."

"She's still paying for my room," I told him.

"Come live with me," Austin suggested. I looked at him in confusion. I couldn't. "I'll pay both of our share of the rent, just please don't leave me."

"I can't live with you, Austin," I shook my head. I had never seen him look so vulnerable. I didn't know that Austin existed. "And I'm not leaving you. We weren't even together."

"That doesn't even matter, Olivia," he huffed at me. "I don't care that we weren't officially together. You're still leaving me."

"I don't understand why you're so bothered by it," I said, tears streaming down my face now. "You've told me that I'm no different than any other girl."

I immediately knew I shouldn't have said that. I guess since I was so angry at my mom, I had no filter. And I had no right to take it out on Austin, the one person that keeps me sane.

"Olivia, what's your fucking problem?" He scoffed at me. I would've too. I hate myself. "It's like it's your goal to make the people that care about you fucking hate you."

"I'm sorry," I said weakly.

"I completely let my guard down for you," he said. "And now you're throwing me away like I'm not shit. Hell, I may not be shit. But I thought I was something to you."

"You are, Austin. I just can't right no-," I said but he cut me off.

"No, Olivia," He shook his head. "If I meant anything to you, you'd find a way to still see me. But you're bringing up old shit just because you're angry. Don't take it out on me because you and I both know how rude I can be."

"Please stop, I'm sorry," I cried. I had forgotten we were in public. "I shouldn't have said that."

"No, you fucking shouldn't have," he turned away from me.

"Can you please stop cussing at me?" I said quietly. "I don't know how to feel, Austin. I have never felt this way before."

"And you think I have?" He asked. "You scare the absolute shit out of me because I have never cared about anyone the way I care about you. And how the hell am I supposed to just let that person walk out of my life?"

"I don't know," I replied. I was so in shock listening to what he was saying. He's never expressed his feelings. He cares about me.

"I guess I have to let her," he said, pursing his lips together in anger. "Bye, Liv."

"Please," I sniffled. I couldn't handle hearing him say Liv. The nickname I had gotten used to even though it was way too close to what my dad calls me. The nickname that I'd only allow to roll off of his tongue. "Please don't call me Liv."

He nodded before walking away as I stood there helpless. No matter how much I have studied in my life, none of it prepared me for how I was feeling right now.

Heartbroken.

a/n: olivia and her mom fucking suck, i'm sorry. buuuuuut austin isn't gonna give up, is he? ;)