feel ➳ post malone [IN EDITING]

46

in my blood // shawn mendes

"Whoa," Parker said as he pulled away from me.

"Okay, now I'm sorry," I shook my head.

"No, don't be sorry," He smiled. "It was nice."

"Okay, nerd," I laughed at him. Yeah, I laughed. But my stomach was turning.

Even though Austin was most likely making Zoe feel the way he makes me feel right now, I felt guilty for kissing Parker. I went and sat down on the couch and Parker could tell that something was apparently wrong.

"I know," he sat beside me. "I'm not Austin. But Olivia, that's the point. I would never treat you the way he did. I understand you love him but you can't keep running back to someone who is just constantly hurting you."

"I need a breather and some time to think," I stood up off of the couch. "I can't even comprehend the thoughts going through my head if that makes sense."

"I know what you mean," he nodded. "Do what you need but just know I'm here with open arms."

"Bye Parker," I said. "Thank you for being here."

He nodded his head in a welcoming manner as I grabbed my things. I walked out of the door and just stood outside. I knew exactly where I wanted to go.

I took my phone out and ordered an Uber. And soon, it arrived. I gave the driver the address and rode in silence. I thought about a lot of things. Mainly about why I kissed Parker when I know my heart is with Austin. I was just mad and I shouldn't have done it.

"Thanks," I said to the driver as I got out.

I stood in front of the large building and took out the keycard that I kept in my purse. I swiped it and walked in the building. I felt guilt inside of me because this was Austin's special place. But he wasn't here and he is right, this is a good place to think.

I walked in and got on the elevator, soon arriving at the top floor. I walked through the maintenance door and to the rooftop. I was greeted by the wind and city lights for miles. It truly was magical up here.

I walked about ten feet from the edge and sat down with my legs crossed. I watched the cars. I listened to them honk while they raced across the streets. The sound of traffic was more relaxing than I could explain.

It was exhilarating to watch life go one below me while it seemed mine was stopped up here. I came up here to think but it was clearing my mind, which I preferred.

I wondered. How many people were happy in this city tonight. How many had a broken heart like me. And how many of those knew how to fix it.

"It helps, doesn't it?" I heard a voice boom from behind me. I immediately got up. I had no right to be here.

"Sorry, I'll leave," I said, walking past him.

"You don't have to," He told me.

"I shouldn't have came up here," I said. "You were with Zoe so I didn't think you'd come up here."

"Why would you say I was with Zoe?" He asked.

"She sent me a picture," I told him. I had no idea why I was explaining anything to him. "Did you call her?"

"Liv, we-," He started but I cut him off.

"Did you call her, Austin?" I asked, a tear running down my cheek.

"Olivia, please listen-"

"It's a simple question, Austin," I let out a chuckle. "Did you call her?"

"Yes, but-" He said. I didn't care that I kept cutting him off.

"That's all I needed to know," I said before walking away.

"Liv, please don't do this," Austin begged me. If I recall, he was the one that left me. He's the one that called Zoe.

"Don't do what? Stand up for myself?" I turned around and asked. "I'm not letting myself get treated this way. No matter how much I love you."

"Yes, I called her, Olivia," Austin whined. "But it wasn't for the reason you think."

"I don't care why you called her," I shook my head as I looked at him. Tired. I was tired. "You still called her after I told you I'd be done."

He was silent for a minute so I walked away. I couldn't understand why I let someone like Austin hurt me so badly.

"I love you, Olivia," Austin let out a deep breath. "And that won't ever change."

I cried as I walked down the stairs and to the elevator. It took all I had in me not to say anything back to him. I cried all the way down and even after I made my way to the sidewalk outside.

The only person that could really make me feel better right now was Austin.

But what was I to do when he was also the one making me feel worse?

a/n: short chapters ew !!!!! i'm sorry. i'm just busy & wanted to update!

i just want to be sappy for just a second and thank you guys because as some of you know, i recently moved from alabama to arizona.

right now, i have no friends nor do i have anything to do so writing this book makes me not feel so lonely.

the support i receive from it makes my days a lot brighter so i THANK YOU so much!!! <3