feel ➳ post malone [IN EDITING]

31

[MATURE]

falling slowly // the hound + the fox

Austin and I walked slowly back to his house. The whole way, I wondered why his room was so important to him. If it were anyone but him being overprotective of their room like this, I would think it was just stupid. But it is him. And for some reason, the fact he cares so much about something so minuscule is heartwarming.

"Uh listen," Austin stopped in front of his house. "This won't be a big deal for you. I know I'm weird about it so it seems like there's something magnificent in my room, but it's not. It's just the one thing I like to keep to myself."

"Austin, I know it means a lot to you," I said to him. "So it is a big deal to me. I'm not expecting some huge reveal. Just expecting to know you a little better."

He smiled at me and then turned around, walking into his house. Randy's shoes were on the floor in the living room. But her and Taylor weren't around. Oh.

Austin and I walked up the stairs, his hand in mine. I had no idea why I was nervous. He made me nervous.

He opened his bedroom door and stepped in. I did so after him. I looked around at the gray walls covered in band posters. The wall above his bed was converted entirely into a bookshelf, a book taking up each space in it. A desk sat in a corner, papers littering it.

"This is it," he smiled at me.

"Y-you read," I stuttered, looking at him. He nodded. My eyes wandered, eventually stopping on his nightstand where I seen a copy of Eleanor & Park. I picked it up and looked at him.

"I've read it three times since I've known you," he said to me. "I can understand why you like it so much."

"But why?" I asked him.

"Each time I read it, I felt like I knew more and more about you. I think it taught me more than I could've ever learned by just talking to you," He said.

I smiled and walked over to his desk, picking up a piece of paper that was peeking out of a folder.

"And you write?" I asked, looking back at him.

"Okay, Liv, that's still off limits," he said, reaching for the paper but I snatched it away to read it.

And every time I look at you,
I can feel something
stirring inside me.
Like a collection of dying stars
drowning beneath the waves.
Waves that belong to your ocean.
And I have fallen deeply without
really knowing
that I could fall at all.

"Olivia," Austin breathed as I finished reading it. I could tell he was mad. I put the paper down and turned away from him.

I didn't know if the poem was about me. I could only hope.

"I'm sorry," I said. "I shouldn't have read it. It's your personal things."

"It's okay," he closed his eyes, trying not to get mad. He sat down on the bed beside me.

"I don't know who it's about but-," I started but he cut me off.

"You," he said, not looking at me. "It's about you."

"Uh, y-you're falling for me?" I looked at him. I was so confused.

"No," he shook his head. "I already have."

"But you said-," He cut me off again. Geez.

"I know what I said," he huffed. "But love is just one of those things. I mean, I've felt it before."

"What happened?" I worked up the courage to ask.

"I don't really want to get into that right now," he told me. I respected that.

"Okay," I said quietly.

"There have been times where love has seemed to be pushing for ways to find itself back into my life, but I haven't let it," He said to me. He had never opened up to me before so I didn't know how to take this. "Olivia, you can't imagine how hard it is for me to love."

"Austin, I understand," she said. "I'm not asking you to love me."

"That's the thing, Liv," he sighed. "I know you aren't asking me to. I just don't know how to control it. Most people don't."

"I sure don't," I said to myself.

He leaned over and kissed me, something I had been waiting on for what seemed like a thousand years. I don't know why I felt this way, but this kiss was different than any other one I've had.

He laid me down on his bed, hovering over me. His hands traveled down my leg slowly as he kissed me. He bit my neck softly as I moaned quietly. His fingers intricately unbuttoned my jeans, sliding them down seconds after.

My hands wrapped around his neck as his tattooed hands played with the hem of my shirt, threatening to take it off. I had never felt so close to him. Because behind this, there wasn't lust. It was love.

His fingers made their way inside my panties, rubbing me so softly. I didn't know Austin could be this gentle. His lips stayed pressed against mine as he slipped two fingers into me. He began pumping slowly, causing me to moan. In this moment, him going slower than usual felt euphoric. I usually wanted him to go faster. But not in this case.

"You're just so-," he breathed against my lips. "You're so beautiful. In every way I can think of."

"Austin," I blushed, as he kissed my neck. He picked up the pace with his fingers, but barely.

I dug my nails into his back, trying to get him closer to me. I dragged them to his chest and then to his jeans, unbuttoning them and sliding them down. His bulge was prominent through his boxers. I remembered what I done last time and grabbed him, rubbing him softly. I pulled down his boxers, letting him spring free.

"God damn," He breathed as I took him in my hand. He stopped me and reached down to pull my underwear down.

He climbed on top of me, kissing me gently once more. I could feel him against me. Neither of us were clothed, and it didn't take much more for us to be even closer to each other.

Did I want to have sex with Austin? Was the timing right tonight?

I jumped as my phone started ringing.

"I'm sorry," I huffed as he climbed off of me. He grabbed my phone and looked at it.

"Parker," he rolled his eyes, handing it to me.

"Hello?" I answered.

"Are you coming or not?" He asked me. I rolled my eyes.

"Yeah, I'll be there soon," I told him.

"Okay," he said.

"Love you," I said and he hung up. I looked at Austin and he seemed mad. "I have to go."

"Of course," he said.

I kissed him and he kissed me back softly.

"See you tomorrow?" I asked him.

"Sure," he smiled.

And God, every time he smiled it made me fall ten times harder.

a/n: sooooooo there wasn't a huge reveal & i'm sorry omg.

BUT I HOPE YOU GUYS LIKED THIS CHAPTER.

((the poem used was by r.m. drake))