feel ➳ post malone [IN EDITING]

28

code blue // the-dream

I left Austin's house confused.

One minute he's saying he wants me. And then he's telling me he'll hurt me. But I had no idea what any of this meant. Why couldn't I stay away if I knew he was just going to end up tearing me apart? I feel so stupid.

Parker: Wyd?
Olivia: Nothing. Want to hang out?
Parker: Yeah Randy and I wanted to grab a coffee with you. We're at Seree's
Olivia: Sounds good. See you guys soon.

I walked down the street to the coffee shop Parker and I had grown fond of. When I walked in, Parker and Randy were sitting in the corner at a table with four chairs. I walked in and ordered a drink before they could see me.

"Can I get a medium cold brew?" I asked, taking out my wallet. The barista nodded as he punched buttons on the cash register.

"3.65 please," he smiled at me as I handed him my card. I took my receipt, card, and drink and headed towards the table. Parker smiled as he noticed me.

"Hi," Randy said sweetly as she looked back at me.

"Hey guys," I smiled, sitting down in a chair in the middle of them.

"How's it going?" Parker asked, leaning back in his chair and sipping his coffee.

"I guess I'm alright," I shrugged, sipping my drink through the clear plastic straw. "What about you?"

"What's wrong?" Parker huffed and Randy rolled her eyes. "It's Austin again, isn't it?"

"Uh, well," I said. "Yeah."

"What did he do?" Randy questioned, biting her straw.

"Nothing. Let's just have fun," I smiled at them.

"O," Randy glared at me. "We're your friends. You can talk to us."

"Seriously, we want to know what's bothering you," Parker said, leaning on the table.

"Austin just-," I started. "He just basically told me he'd never love me."

"Why would he say that?!" Parker fumed. "He needs to leave you the fuck alone then."

"No, he told me way before we started doing.. this.. that he didn't believe in love," I explained. It hurt. "It's my fault I kept seeing him."

"So are you two done now or something?" Randy asked me, crossing her arms.

"I don't think I want to be," I sighed. "I know this isn't going anywhere but he makes me feel something I've never felt."

"Love?" Randy asked.

"I don't think so," I chuckled awkwardly. "But I wouldn't know."

"Well, whatever it is, you need to make sure he reciprocates it," Parker gave a one-sided smile. "I don't want to see you heartbroken."

"I'll be okay," I nodded. "Let's talk about something else."

After an hour of tear-filled laughs, we decided we should go. We got up and walked out of the door, Parker and Randy going in the opposite direction I was going.

"I love you guys," I said, hugging them.

"I love you," Randy said, squeezing me. "See you later."

"Bye, Olivia," Parker hugged me. "Love you."

I walked down the sidewalk with my phone in my hand and clicked on my contacts. Austin's name was the first on my contacts list. My finger hovered over his name before I decided to just call him.

The phone rang four times before he answered.

"Yeah?" He said. What a rude way to answer the phone.

"H-hey, it's Olivia," I said.

"I have fucking Caller ID, I know it's you," he said harshly. What did I do?

"Oh," I said and then we were silent.

"Is there a reason you called me?" He huffed. "I'm busy."

"Oh, I'll just let you go then," I said, a tear sneaking down my cheek. I know I had upset him earlier but I didn't know it was this bad.

"Good," he said before hanging up the phone. Why did I care so much about him? I hated it.

I walked to the record shop just to browse their collection. I stopped when I seen Austin in there. And he wasn't alone.

I suddenly felt sick. I wanted to look away but I couldn't. He was looking at records and laughing with that Zoe girl.

Tears immediately rolled down my cheeks as I stood there and stared. Like I said, I couldn't look away. I watched Austin. He looked happy and so did Zoe. I couldn't blame her, I felt happiest when I was around Austin.

Austin's eyes cut to the window I was standing outside of. His smile instantly dropped as we made eye contact. He seemingly sighed as he started to walk towards the exit. I cried as I walked away, hearing the bell on the door ring signaling he was coming out.

"Liv, wait," Austin called out. I kept walking. "Olivia, please."

He caught up with me and grabbed my wrist, spinning me around to look at him.

"Let me go," I grunted, pulling away from him and walking away.

"Olivia, it's not even that big of a deal," he sighed.

"You're right," I turned around to look at him. "It isn't a big deal. You know why? Because I'm done with you."

"Liv," he sighed as I walked away.

I was mad at myself. I was mad that I knew I was lying. I couldn't be done with him. I wanted to be.

But I can't.

I love him.

a/n: y'all i fucking love writing this book omg.

thanks for 13k+ reads!!! it means the world to me.

also, i am going to put songs at the beginning of the chapters. you can listen to them, or not, but i think it'd make the reading experience a little bit better.