feel ➳ post malone [IN EDITING]

33

heroes // david bowie 

After Austin took me home that night, I didn't speak to him much. I felt so stupid. That was four days ago.

But I was back to normal. It was Tuesday evening and I was sitting on the bench reading. But this time, it wasn't Eleanor & Park. I decided to read something else. I chose Looking for Alaska. I had read it once when I was younger.

I read the book. Meaning I got through the pages. But I couldn't focus. I only had two things on my mind. How badly I missed Parker and how stupid I was to tell Austin I loved him.

How do I even know I love him? I know nothing about love. But there's something about Austin that made me feel like I've been in love forever. But it made him uncomfortable so I won't speak about it again.

"Hey, I'm going to hang out with Parker," Randy said. She stopped by where I was sitting on her way out of the building.

"Okay," I said, keeping my head down. I wanted to go with her. I missed Parker badly.

"Don't worry," she told me. "He'll come around. He loves you a lot."

"He doesn't want anything to do with me," I said quietly.

"Well," she sat down next to me. "Parker has some.. feelings for you. But he didn't want to ruin your friendship by telling you. So I just think he's upset right now that you're letting Austin in and not him."

"Wait, Parker likes me?" I asked her. "Since when?"

"It's so obvious," she chuckled. "He's literally been crushing on you since you two met."

"I feel awful," I breathed. "I had no idea."

"You like him back?" She asked.

"Parker is great, but I just see him as a friend," I nodded.

"That's okay," she shrugged. "But just give him some time. He'll be okay."

"Just tell him I love him and miss him, please," I looked at her and she nodded.

"Bye, O," she said, getting off of the bench. "Oh and there's something on your bed for you."

"What?" I asked. She just shrugged and walked away. I grabbed my book and got up, walking into the building. When I got to my dorm room and opened the door, I seen a huge box laying on my bed.

A note was placed on top of the box. I picked it up and read it.

This will probably say a lot more than words ever will. 
                - Austin 

I smiled to myself even though I was confused. I grabbed a pair of scissors that were laying on my desk and slid them down the center, breaking the tape.

When I got it open, I seen a record player.

"Holy crap," I said to myself, taking it out of the box. It was light gray and a newer model. The exact one I was looking at in the store all that time ago.

I placed it on my bedside table, glad I had something to fill the space on it instead of makeup wipes and water bottles. I looked back in the box. There were four records. I took them out.

The Police - Synchronicity.
Fleetwood Mac - Tango in the Night.
David Bowie - Heroes.
And Aerosmith - Greatest Hits.

I was so sure I had a huge smile plastered to my face. But this must've costed a lot of money. I stopped smiling and texted Austin.

Olivia: Austin, thank you so much but I can't take this.
Austin: Well, you are taking it. It's rude to refuse a gift.
Olivia: I'll take it back to the store and bring you the money.
Austin: I have the receipt and I won't be taking it back. Sooooo what are you gonna do about that?
Olivia: Seriously, I can't accept it.
Austin: Shut up. Enjoy it and dance your little heart out.

I sighed and threw my phone on my bed. If he wasn't going to take it back, I might as well use it. I grabbed the Fleetwood Mac vinyl and slid it out of the sleeve placing it on the turntable, gently placing the needle on it.

I started to dance around the room, singing the songs that I knew.

"If I live to see the seven wonders, I'll make a path to the rainbow's end," I sang, dancing by myself. I felt happy. "I'll never live to match the beauty again, the rainbow's end."

When I had listened to all of the songs on Tango in the Night, I switched to David Bowie.

I was listening to the third song on the album when I was interrupted.

"Enjoying it, I see," I turned around to see Austin standing in my doorway. I guess I should've locked it.

"Oh, God you scared me," I put my hand over my heart. "But uh, yeah, I love it." 

"Those are my four favorite records," he said, stepping inside.

"Oh, then take them back. That's stupid for me to keep them," I shook my head.

"Olivia," he said, grabbing my hands. "Shut up."

"But they're your favorites and-," I said. He cut me off.

"Shh," he told me. His hands clutched mine as he started dancing with me. "Just dance."

I laughed as we danced. This song and this moment made me feel like everything was right.

"We can be heroes just for one day," Austin sang to me as he spun me around. I laughed at him.

"We can be all us just for one day," I sang the next line. He smiled at me and then pressed our foreheads together.

We both breathed heavily, looking at each other. Our noses touched. And then, finally, our lips. I kissed him softly as his hands traveled to my waist, pulling me closer to him.

His kisses were like nicotine. I needed them. I felt the most fulfilled when he was kissing me. And I hoped it would be that way forever.

a/n: goshhhhh i love them.

i'd love to hear y'all's thoughts on the book! i haven't been getting as much feedback lately as i usually do so i'm just wondering if you guys are still into it!! let me know. :-)

thank you for the support, though. it means the WORLD to me!