feel ➳ post malone [IN EDITING]

16

"You cannot let him have this kind of impact on you, Olivia," Parker said, playing with my hair as we sat on his couch and I cried with my head on his shoulder. "This is exactly what he wants."

"He's the first guy I've ever kissed or that's ever touched me that way," I explained to him through tears. "It's hard not to let him have this impact on me."

"So do you like him or his attention?" Parker asked. I thought for a second. "Because better guys can give you attention."

"I really do like him, Parker," I said. "He's so foreign to my life but I guess I like that."

"I'm not sure what to tell you then," he sighed. "He's not a good guy."

"I know," I sniffled. "I'm gonna go back to my dorm and read."

"You sure?" He asked.

"Yeah, of course," I nodded, wiping my eyes. "It'll calm me more than anything else will."

"Okay," Parker smiled, pulling me into a hug. "I love you, Olivia. Please be careful."

"I love you, too," I smiled before I got off of his couch and walked out of the door.

Halfway to my dorm, I realized I left my book in Austin's car. Oh no.

I instantly started crying. This day sucked. Surely he'd be a decent enough person to return something he knew meant the world to me. Of course he wouldn't, what am I thinking? 

I walked back to my room behind stifled tears. Mostly because of my book, but Austin was a factor in the equation too.

I got in my room and Randy was gone. I was partially glad because I didn't want to answer any questions right now. I grabbed my earbuds off of my nightstand and walked back outside to my bench.

My ears filled with Hamilton, my favorite musical. If I couldn't read, I could at least listen to a story. I put my legs up on the bench and closed my eyes, letting the sun sink into my skin.

It was euphoric. I couldn't hear the world around me and that's exactly what I wanted.

But my music was interrupted by my phone ringing.

"Hello?" I answered it.

"Hi, sweetie," my mom said in a cheerful tone.

"Hi, mom," I said back in a tone as equal as hers but it was more than fake.

"How is school going?" She asked. "How are classes?"

"They're going great, I love them all," I replied, twisting my earbuds around my finger.

"That's wonderful, made any friends?" She asked. She didn't care that I made friends.

"Yes, my roommate. Her name is Randy. She's amazing. And then a sophomore that I have in a few classes. His name is Parker," I raved about them.

"That's good, but this boy," She started. I rolled my eyes. Of course. "Parker, is it? He's just a friend, right? You don't need to focus on a boyfriend right now."

"He is strictly just a friend," I sighed. She was so overbearing at times. "I promise you, mom, there's no one worth my time here."

"That's right," She chuckled. "Okay. Your father and I love you. Be safe."

"I love you guys too," I said. "Bye."

I hung up and my music immediately started back. I seen Randy, Lenny, and Taylor walking up the sidewalk. I took my earbuds out to greet them.

"Hey, Olivia!" Lenny said loudly. I chuckled and waved at them.

"Hi, guys," I smiled as they passed me. But the spot beside me was suddenly filled.

"Hi, Olivia," Taylor said in a cunning tone.

"Hey, Taylor," I smiled shyly. I didn't know Taylor that well, but from what I did know, he was nice.

"Why are you sitting out here by yourself?" He asked me.

"I like it," I shrugged, playing with the PopSocket on the back of my phone. "And I've had a rough day."

"Want to talk about it?" He asked. And to be honest, I did. Taylor didn't know me that well so he couldn't have an opinion of me. Or at least much of one.

"I know Austin is your friend," I shook my head.

"He doesn't really like me that much," he responded. "I'm just his roommate."

"Why doesn't he like you?" I questioned, curious as to why Austin lived with someone he didn't care for.

"I guess that was the wrong choice of words," he chuckled. "I'm just not into the party scene like he is. I'll have a beer occasionally but all these parties at our house is ridiculous. I hate them and we've bumped heads a few times about it."

"I'm not big on it either, obviously," I laughed. "But I don't have to worry about it because I won't be coming around anymore."

"So that's what happened," he touched his tongue to the roof of his mouth. "The thing about Austin is he can make girls feel like he's theirs, but he never is. You're the first girl I've actually liked that he's ever brought around so I am sincerely sorry he's doing this to you."

"I don't want to be categorized into a group of girls that don't mean anything," I sighed. "I am not a whore. I would've never done anything sexual with him if I didn't actually like him. I did. And I do. But I guess I am just like all of the other girls. What makes me different? The fact that I think I am? No."

"Let me take you on a date," Taylor said after looking at me for a second. "I'll show you how you deserve to be treated."

"We barely know each other," I chuckled.

"That's exactly why I want to take you on a date," His lips turned into a perfect smile. "To get to know you."

I thought about it. I like Austin. And I don't think that will change for a while. But what better way to get back at him than to go out with someone? His roommate? But then I'd be using Taylor, right? No. I might actually like Taylor. It's just a date.

"Yes," I said, abruptly. "I'll go on a date with you."

a/n: if i made a playlist for this book on youtube, would you guys listen to it? i don't want to spend time on it if no one will listen. let me know!! 💛