feel ➳ post malone [IN EDITING]

26

"Oh my Goddddd," I groaned as I stared at the TV. Austin and I were playing a game called Grand Theft Auto. I sucked at it but we were drunk so I didn't even care.

"Babe stoooop, you need to get another car," he slurred, sipping another beer. "You fucked this one up."

"Can you just help me?" I complained, leaning my head on his shoulder and looking up at him.

"You're so pretty," he smiled a cheesy smile and kissed my forehead. Tears immediately started rolling down my cheeks. It was obviously because of the alcohol. I'm usually so strong. "Why are you crying?"

"I want you," I cried, scrunching my nose.

"I'm right here," Austin laughed, wiping my tears. I could tell he was trying to sober up.

"No. I want you to be mine," I admitted. Whoa, Olivia. Stop while you're ahead.

"Olivia," Austin said. "Let's talk about this some other time."

"I just want you to love me," I cried more. Why was I saying this? I was going to push him away.

"I care about you," he said. "Let's not talk about this right now."

"You don't love me," I sniffled. I wanted nothing more than to be sober right now. I had no control over what I was saying. I didn't even know how I felt about Austin, so why was I so worried about what he feels?

"Olivia," he sighed. "I've already told you that I don't believe in the love thing."

My heart broke right then. And that's how I knew I loved him. Because if I didn't, that wouldn't have hurt me so badly.

"I think I'm going to go back to my dorm," I wiped my eyes and got off of the couch. The game was playing idly in the background.

"You aren't leaving. I don't want you walking alone and I'm too drunk to drive you," He said, pulling my arm. "I'll sleep on the couch and you can have my bed."

"W-what?" I stopped and looked at him. "Your bed?"

"Yeah," he nodded. "I just can't let you leave."

"But your room," I shook my head. "You always say how important it is to you."

"You're important to me, too," he looked at me. I sat on his lap and wrapped my arms around his neck. I looked at him for a second before kissing him.

Oh boy. I do love him.

"Take me up there," I whispered.

"Are you tired?" He asked me in the middle of a kiss.

"No," I breathed against his lips. "You know what I mean."

"I can finger you right here," he joked, resting his hand on my thigh.

"No, Austin," I shook my head. "I want to.. Uh. I want to..."

"Olivia," he looked at me in shock. "No."

"What do you mean?" I asked in confusion.

"I am not taking your virginity," he shook his head. "You need to give that to someone special."

"You're someone special," I told him.

"You don't love me," he replied. "Please wait until you find someone you're in love with. Please."

"What if I do love you?" I asked him. Holy shit. I'm never drinking again.

"You're drunk, Liv," he shook his head. "Please stop."

"I think it's my choice who I want to have sex with," I said, lifting his shirt up a little.

"Well I don't want to have sex with you!" He said loudly, pulling away from me. My heart dropped to my stomach.

"O-oh," I nodded. "I-I'm sorry."

"No, I'm sorry," he shook his head. "I didn't mean it like tha-"

"Stop, I know how you meant it," I gave him a small smile. "I'll just sleep on the couch and leave before you wake up in the morning."

"No, you're sleeping in my bed, Liv," He said. "I  am not letting you sleep on this hard ass couch."

"I can sleep on the one in the basement," I shrugged. He stood up and looked at me.

"Stop being so difficult," he rolled his eyes and picked me up.

"Austin! Put me down!" I yelled as he took my up the stairs. I couldn't wait to be sober.  I couldn't see straight right now.

"Goodnight, Liv. You won't remember any of this tomorrow," he sighed as he laid me down in his bed. He kissed my forehead and then walked out of the door.

I just wanted him to come lay beside me and hold me. I can't believe I asked to have sex with him. I'm so stupid!

He had sex with other girls. Why am I not good enough? Because I'm inexperienced? Whatever. I can't believe I thought I loved him for a split second.

This is why I never drank alcohol. It just leads to unnecessary situations. I am never touching it again.

a/n: i JUST posted a note saying i wasn't going to be able to update until i was settled in but i had some spare time to write today and i was so excited!! it's a very short update but an update nonetheless. thanks for your patience!!