dolan twins imagines

see what I see |g|

requested by gray_graylove & aestheticannashea

summary : in which having an eating disorder and battling depression becomes too much and Grayson comforts you by making you see what he sees.

You wish you could say you were confident with the image that laid before in the mirror but you were never a good liar.

Sure everyone had insecurities but you were the type of person to surround yourself with this one insecurity.

All your life people have bullied you for your appearance and being 'overweight'.

It clearly wasn't true but you still couldn't look at yourself in any other way.

You'd go to the gym, follow all of these crazy diets but nothing seemed to work.

At the age of 12 you realized this unrealistic goal of having the perfect body took over your life and you had gotten yourself into a terrible situation.

You were diagnosed with an eating disorder, Bulimia nervosa.

This sent you into a downward spiral of depression and sadness.

Your mother knew of your situation and had enrolled you into therapy and group discussions.

You were the youngest one there at every session. People spoke of how they viewed themselves and what has helped them cope but as similar as everyone was to you, you still felt so alone.

That was till you met Grayson.

He was outside of the rehabilitation center riding his skateboard when he bumped into you.

You flew onto the pavement getting a bad scratch on your knee.

That's when you also learned that Grayson was not very good at cleaning cuts. He had no idea what he was doing which made you giggle.

After exchanging numbers and hanging out more often you two finally started dating.

As happy as you were though, you still couldn't shake the insecurities that lurked. You still binge ate, purged after and battled that thought of depression.

You were so good at masking this pain that not even Grayson noticed.

But he would soon.

You were both out eating lunch at an Italian restaurant when the feeling rose again.

Grayson had asked for the check and you felt the dreadful feeling of having to throw everything you just ate back up.

Your eyes began to shake as Grayson held your hand.

"The food was so good, we should go to that Mediterranean place one day," Grayson suggested in a calm voice.

However your mind was only on the need to vomit.

He noticed your distant state and furrowed his brows.

"Baby, are you okay?" Grayson rubbed your hand soothingly. He hoped the food didn't make you feel sick.

"Yea Yea it's nothing, um I gotta go to the bathroom," you rushed out of the booth and down to the restroom.

You shoved the door open and ran into a stall, locking it immediately.

Falling to your knees you felt yourself start to gag. You were so used to making yourself throw up that it practically second nature.

The sound of you gagging and throwing up the lunch you just digested echoed in the small bathroom.

"Dear are you okay?" You heard an older voice ask outside of the stall.

You cough as wiped your teary eyes.

"I'm okay," your voice was gruff and raspy having just had thrown up.

You sat on the floor for a bit and heard the lady outside, "would you like some water?"

"That would be great," you replied.

Standing up you shakily made your way outside to go wash your hands.

An older lady maybe around the age of 40 came inside with a glass of water.

"Oh honey, here drink this," she handed you the glass.

"Thank you."

After downing the water and catching your breath the lady helped you walk outside when you were met with the eyes of your boyfriend.

"Babe are you okay? What's wrong?" He held your cheek checking your face.

"I-" you were about to speak when the lady cut you off.

"I hope you feel better dear, I hate throwing up, go home rest and take care," she patted your back before walking off.

"Was it what you ate?" Grayson asked rubbing your back.

"Probably," you lied.

"Come on Let's get you home to rest," he walked you out of the restaurant.

You arrived home and he got you some water and an Advil for the pain he thought you had.

When he finally walked away you threw the Advil under the bed and sipped the water.

Night was coming close meaning you had to make dinner but Grayson was quick to stop you.

"I'll make chicken noodle soup and a grilled cheese. My mom said it's cure food and it will always make you feel better," he kissed your forehead before going off to make your dinner.

After about thirty minutes he brought a bowl of hot soup and grilled cheese on a platter.

"Eat up," he said placing the tray on your bedside table.

You smiled at him but your mind went into frenzy. You couldn't eat this without having to throw it back up.

You lifted the spoon to your mouth and took a little sip.

With each bite the need to throw up rose.

You were almost done with your soup and sandwich when Grayson got a call from Ethan that he was need really quick at the warehouse for an emergency.

"Babe I'll be back," he called out as he ran out.

This was your chance.

You got up rushing to the bathroom.

You collapsed onto the floor and started to shove your fingers into your mouth in an attempt to force yourself to vomit.

The food traveled its way back up and down the toilet.

You held your stomach when he felt a presence near you.

Turning to the door you see Grayson standing there shocked and upset.

"Baby come," he helped you off the floor and into the kitchen. He fixed you a cup of water and a mint.

Did he see everything? Maybe he truly believed you were sick. These thoughts occupied your mind before Grayson spoke up.

"I saw it you know," he was stuck staring at the counter, "you forced yourself to throw up. I saw it," His voice cracked with pain.

"Why would you force yourself to do that?" He looked up at you with tears threatening to fall.

It was time.

Time to tell Grayson the truth.

You took a deep breath and shut your eyes.

"Grayson I-," you took another breath, "I have an eating disorder."

He felt his world crumble and he didn't hesitate before holding you close.

"We're gonna get through this. I love you. I wish you could be in my shoes so you could see what I see when I look at you."

Sorry for the lag I have two more weeks of school left and I have so much stuff going on but requests are open if you guys would like a request 💖💖