dolan twins imagines

scared to be lonely |e|

requested by cxmdxl

inspired by the song : scared to be lonely by Dua Lipa

summary : in which the man you love is no longer the man you once knew and though things are better off done, you can't find the will to leave and neither can he.

It was another late night waiting up for Ethan.

He had been going out so much if not almost every night. He'd come home at 2 to sometimes 3 in the morning, smelling of strong booze and weed.

What made him turn to this behavior, you didn't know but you did know one thing.

This was not the same man you fell in love with 3 years ago.

The first 2 years were amazing, fairytale like. Being apart wasn't something you two would dream of doing but then the third year rolled around and the puppy love began to subside.

That's when you were hit with the harsh reality that love isn't perfect and sometimes it doesn't last.

You and Ethan began to fight much more.

It started with big fights that led to apologies and long cuddles through the night. However the more frequent the fighting became the less forgiving you to were.

Each day was filled with bickering, slamming doors and realizing how imperfect the other really is and almost every night was filled with warm tears, cold booze and an empty house.

So consumed in your thoughts you didn't even realize Ethan was home.

You got up from your position on the floor and read the clock. Sure enough, it was 1:56 a.m.

"Ethan," your voice was calm and soft not having the power to yell, "where were you?"

He scoffed and pushed past you heading to the kitchen, "when did you start caring?" His cold demeanor filled the air as he opened the fridge.

"When did I stop?" You ask pressing against the counter.

He was quiet as he took out a water bottle, taking a long gulp.

"Why are you still up?" Ethan was now more calm but there's always a calm before the storm.

"Because I was waiting for you and I was worried," you answered simply and to the point.

"You know I come home late every night so why stay up when you know what's gonna happen?" His voice begins to raise.

"I can't sleep knowing the man I love is out there doing god knows what, until you come home I'm not at peace," you were now raising your voice louder than his.

"Love?" He laughs humorlessly. "Let's be real (Y/N), the love ended months ago, it's as if two ghosts live in this house and they awake at night just to fight. How can you still possibly love me?"

Tears were now escaping your eyes as you were at a loss for words.

"I still love you because I can't see myself without you, don't you understand Ethan, I'm not blind, I see us falling apart and spiraling out of control. Maybe it's out of my reach but that doesn't mean I don't want to fix this. Ethan I've been with you for 3 years and have loved you longer. I can't let go of you in 3 seconds."

His hands were shaking as he could barely meet your gaze.

"Don't tell me you don't love me anymore, we both know you were never a good liar," you whispered.

Silence filled the air and you could cut the tension with a knife.

"I do still love you (Y/N), and I know you still love me but we'll never get back to the us that we once were. Our relationship has turned into bitter meetings and arguments just to sleep on a cold bed as far apart as we can from one another. I love you (Y/N) and I always will but we need to end this before its ends us."

His words cut deep but at the same time there wasn't one thing he said that was untrue.

"We're just staying together because we're scared to be lonely," he whispered now barely an inch in front of you.

He pulled you into his arms and let you release the built up tears in your eyes.

As much as you two fought and bickered it was inarguable that you two cared deeply for one another.

Times like this made you think that silence was much better.

Sometimes people are meant to meet and they're meant to fall in love but sometimes the people you fall in love with aren't the people you're meant to be with.

That was the case with you and Ethan.

Although you both had a big part in each other's hearts you weren't meant to be.

You both were just scared to be lonely.

Tomorrow I'm gonna go see the incredibles with my best friend and spend the day with her.

Saturday and Sunday I will post and then Monday I will be at Disneyland all day with my best friend.

I'm trying to spend as much time with her before she moves at the end of the month 💙💙

How've you guys been ??