As Time Goes On - A SebaCiel Story

Chapter 11: Comfort

The nightmares become routine as the demon who I have requested to keep me under his watchful eye at night has taken up reading to fill the time.

Every night my eyes close. Every night my eyes open with the urgency that only the fear stirred up inside of me could release. And every night, Sebastian was there to comfort me.

Tonight is no different.

"AHHHH! NO!" I scream as I awaken pointing the gun that rests under my pillow at the wall. It takes a moment to realise where I am before I finally put it down.

"Young Master, I'm here. You are safe now." He states as he takes a seat on the bed right beside me. "You're alright. It was just a nightmare." Gentle hands run through my hair as he repeats those words over and over.

The constant contact makes me crave more as I shake with an overwhelming anxiety that I know only Sebastian can relieve.

Not even thinking of the embarrassment I would usually feel doing this, I climb onto the demon's lap, clinging to him as though my life depends on it.

He keeps one hand in my hair as he other arm snakes around my waist. Pulling me closer. So close that the sound of his faux heartbeat can be heard clearly. The familiar, comforting smell of vanilla and cinnamon consumes me as I bury my face into the crook of his neck.

Slowly by slowly, little by little, I sink into relaxation. My breathing matching his steady pace. Eyelids growing heavier and heavier the longer our sweet embrace continues.

"Are you relaxed now, Ciel?" God do I love it when he says my name. And God do I lose my filter when I'm calm.

"Mmhmm." Is all I can manage without saying something that would bring me great shame in the morning.

"Are you tired?"

"Sleepy."

"Would you like me to let go?"

"N-No..." I answer as I shyly nudge my face against the crook of his neck, trying to hide the blush that has appeared entirely uninvited.

A warm chuckle escapes his lips as I hold on a bit tighter. "I didn't think so."

A feeling of dread begins to form in the pit of my stomach as my rush of thoughts come to a rather awful conclusion. "I'm not bothering you am I?" I ask rather nervously, finally lifting my head to face him. Handsome face to a blushing, tired mess of a face.

His expression turns to slightly concerned confusion as he answers almost instantly. "Of course not. Did you believe that you were?"

I nod, looking away as I find myself unable to look him in the eyes.

"I enjoy spending my time with you. Holding you like this, is a highlight of my day. Knowing that I have the ability to bring you back from the terror that you endure in your dreams brings me comfort. There's no where I'd rather be."

I'm left speechless. Utterly speechless. Eyes watering, tears falling, I smile. Genuinely smile. The amount of care he gives me. I live for it. I live to speak to the only being who truly knows me. Understanding who and what I am.

Revenge will always be my goal but...I realise now that it isn't my only one. It's been there all along. The crave for affection, for compassion, for comfort. I just locked those doors in my mind and threw away the keys. I lived in darkness. I never even knew that the light was so close to me.

Sebastian...he's the light of my life. Even in the darkest of times he has extended a hand to me.

I just never took it.

Until now.

I finally understand.

That this warm and fuzzy feeling that controls me whenever I speak to him, is not something that a mere friendship could satisfy.

I need more.

Because simply put.

I am in love with Sebastian Michaelis.

And I suppose always have been.