What would Sebastian do after I no longer walk this Earth?
What will he become when my heart is no longer beating?
Who will he do when he buries my limp corpse into the grave that was dug for me eight years ago?
What will he do to himself...?
He may find a way to end his-
NO
I can't think that way. I want to go back! Back just a few minutes prior when everything was perfect in my stupid little head.
Back to before I allowed my mind to wander into dark crevices that I never wished to shine light upon.
Back to when I never considered how worthless my love must be if one day I will no longer live to be by his side.
And Sebastian appears to notice.
"My dear? May I speak with you privately?" He asks with a subtly concerned tone. Not enough to alarm Elizabeth and Sieglinde but definitely enough to grab my attention.
"We will only be a moment." He adds with a friendly smile, keeping them in their excitable mood as he guides me to a secluded area beside the washrooms. Possibly a powder room but as it's quite early in the afternoon there can't be very many men and women that require it.
"What has gotten you so down, dear?" He asks with such gorgeous sincerity that I already feel myself welling up with a cocktail of emotions.
"I...I just-" I try to speak, to spill my guts, wishing to rid myself of these dreadful thoughts and yet my body decided otherwise. Leaving me a sobbing wreck in front of the only man who can ever ease my pain.
All I can feel in this tornado of agony are the arms of my saviour. And through it all, his words echo throughout these spiralling memories of isolation.
"I will never stop loving you, you are my love, my life, my heart, my soul and my world. The light in an everlasting darkness that I never knew existed until the day you first shed a tear in my presence, six years after I had been bound to you, when you came across a suitcase in the attic that until then you had left to rot. That you refused to allow me to clean. Every piece of evidence of your parents laid to rest in that room. I found you there. With a decayed and dusty suitcase with it's sealed innards splayed across the old wooden flooring. Tears that fell from that dazzling blue eye splashed onto the photograph of your mother holding you in her arms so lovingly as you wore the last outfit she would remember you in. The red and white cape on that fateful day. The snow falling outside of the grand windows as you pointed at the stars. The stars that you wouldn't see again until exactly one month later, a changed man, no longer an innocent child. No longer what God would see as pure."
"But you didn't care. From soft to strong. From adorably chubby to scarily skinny. From joyous to vengeful. From adorable to worthy of adoration."
"You cried when you had gazed into that cracked, rusted old mirror to see what you had become. But that day...I saw what you had become."
"And I swore to never let you go."
"Not even death shall part us."
"For I have seen immortality."
"All you have to do..."
"Is kill yourself."
YOU ARE READING
As Time Goes On - A SebaCiel Story
RomanceCiel Phantomhive is growing older than he ever thought he would as the search for clues to gain his revenge are few and far between. His nightmares become worse in a way he never expected as the man who has served him hand and foot becomes something...
