As Time Goes On - A SebaCiel Story

Chapter 67: Secrets Told

Ciel's POV

If I may not bare a child of my own, I may shape the lives of the children who have been left to scrounge on the streets of London.

Starting with a little boy...begging for change as he wastes away in front of my very eyes. Though I must approach as myself.

A nobleman has always had more of a status than a woman ever could.

And so, I enter the awaiting carriage and immediately grab onto the trunk Sebastian has kept for me all this time. A spare outfit in it's entirety.

He spared no time in undressing and re-clothing me, takes barely a second before he slows, wrapping the bow string around my neck, only to use my own moves against me. Dragging me into his kiss.

One that seals my transformation, as warm hands unfasten my hairpiece, allowing the Earl to be released. As my lips are soon after.

"You look incredible."

"You said that when you first saw me in that dress."

"I say it every-time I see you, that doesn't make it any less true."

"You love to compliment me, don't you?"

"And you love to be complimented."

A smile breaks out across his face as my lips press against his cheek. His beautiful eyes following as I gently squeeze him in my affectionate embrace.

"Sometimes I feel as if we only truly leave each other's touch because we fill our lives with new tasks. Otherwise we'd still be hugging at this very moment."

"I know my love, which is why...it's really hard when members of the public ask me if I'm pregnant. I feel as though I am failing you every time you come to a climax because it is wasted on me. I can't give you the child I so desperately desire. I want to bear your child Sebastian. I want to birth a child made from our union but no matter how handsy we become, I can never give us what I want." Tears build up within my eyes, my hands covering my mouth in fear of those fateful sobs escaping.

My heart breaking with every word.

"Oh Ciel...you-" He tries to fight the words that try to escape his lips but it's already far too late to go back. "You can create a child as a demon-"

"What-?!" You didn't even try to fucking explain this to me sooner when you knew how much I was yearning for it?!

"Love, let me explain-"

"How could you hide this from me-?!"

"Darling, you can't birth our child but you can create a new soul from our own. That's why I wanted to wait until you were ready to become a demon."

"Is there no way...? No hope for us to bare a child of our own? I wanted it to be mine...to feel the kicking, to feel the movement from within. Is there no way...?"

I hold onto my dreams of mothering a child born of our love, our blood coursing through their veins. Their crimson eyes and slate locks. Dressed as a little Lord or Lady should be. Beauty radiating from every pour. Granted so very kindly by the power bestowed upon their handsome Father. Intelligence given from us both.

Our hybrid of a child.

"No my dear, I am irreparably sorry for letting you down. I have failed as your lover, and as your demon. I truly wish that I could give you the child you always dreamed of."

"Is-" A sob escapes me as I search for a solution, a way to spare myself the heartbreak. "Is there someone who could help us? Is there hope in your eyes?" I ask hurriedly, pleading for any chance we have of creating my child...

I search, and I search for a way. My mind racing, gripping tightly onto my wish. Hope fading far too quickly. The hope I require to stay strong.

"We can speak to a demonic physician of sorts...they don't particularly have names but we could try it my dear, if this is what you truly want." His thumb delicately wipes the tears away, pulling my into his warm embrace. His hand sliding beneath my shirt as he rests on my abdomen. Where I wish a child would grow.

If only I could give him what I know he too desires...if only I were truly a woman.

If only...